Muggle Movies 01: The Stone
by GNess
Summary: The Harry Potter characters go and see the first film on the big screen. It seems EVERYONE loves Sean Biggerstaff, Draco isn't sneering nearly as much as he should and Ron is so excited that Harry fears he'll pass out.
1. The Beginning

A/N: If you hate this, it's fine with me. I just had fun writing it. :) It's written like a play just because I felt like it, lol. No other reason. The characters may be out of character, but it's supposed to be funny so that's why.  
  
Settings and other actions in the scene are in **bold**. Things going on in the movie are in _italics_. Talking is regular. Actions of the people talking are in (parentheses.)  
Apparently, I have to illustrate this because you guys don't know what bold is. Lol. I don't know why I did that, I'm in a weird mood I guess.  
  
Also, I know there are other fics out there about the same thing, but I just wanted to try it. Don't flame me because there are others. I didn't copy them. I just wanted to use this idea.  
  


Muggle Movies  
  


  
**Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are in the Gryffindor Common room after dinner. There are a few other students around, but most are doing homework and are not listening to the trio's conversation.**  
  
HERMOINE: I don't know about you two, but I'm going to get a head start on my Transfiguration essay.  
  
RON: (rolls his eyes) Hermione, that isn't due for another 2 weeks!  
  
HERMIONE: Well, I like to complete things early. That way I can do a bit of light reading.  
  
HARRY: (sarcasticly) Light reading to you is a 899 page book. Like The Goblet of Fire.  
  
**I realize that the Goblet of Fire is not 899 pages, Harry is exaggerating.**  
  
RON: (bemused look upon face) Goblet of Fire?  
  
HERMIONE: (huffily) Honestly! Have you not _read_ the books about us?  
  
RON: (getting excited) There are books about us? Am I in them? Do I look good?  
  
HARRY: I got them from the library near the Dursleys house. (just realizing what Ron said before) It's a book. How are people supposed to see you?  
  
RON: (slowly) Oh. Right. Of course.  
  
**Hermione starts flipping through her Transfiguration book with a holier-than-thou look on her face.**  
  
HERMIONE: If I were you, I'd go to a Muggle library and read up on us.   
  
RON: What's the point of reading about us if I lived it?  
  
HERMIONE: (in a Professor McGonagall type voice..aka stern) There's always more to learn, Ron. You could always use a new perspective. Honestly, this J.K.Rowling has you down to a tee.  
  
HARRY: (sensing Ron was going to say something rude--he was) Heard any news on the movie front?  
  
HERMOINE: The Philosopher's Stone...Sorcerer's Stone in America...?  
  
HARRY: (with an 'of course' expresssion) Ah, yeah.  
  
HERMIONE: It's out next week. I read about it in a Muggle magazine my mum and dad had at their dental office.  
  
RON: What are you two jabbering about?  
  
HARRY: They're making a movie about us.  
  
RON: (excited) Really? A Muggle movie?  
  
HERMIONE: Yes. With actors and everything. You know, Ron, you really should have taken Muggle Studies.  
  
RON: (scoffs) I've never seen a Muggle movie, maybe we should go.  
  
HERMIONE: We're at school. We'd have to go clear to London to see it.  
  
RON: Well, we can Apparate. How long will it take us to learn that?  
  
HERMIONE: (a bit hysterical) How many times do I have to tell you! You can't Apparate or Disapparate inside the Hogwarts grounds! Plus, it would take us a year or so to even learn it!! Then we'd have to get it okayed by the Ministry!  
  
RON: (ignoring Hermione, turning to Harry) Do you want to go?  
  
HARRY: (thinking) Well, I 'spose. I mean it would be cool.  
  
RON: (happily) YES!   
  
HERMIONE: You'll have to ask Dumbledore. Get his permission and you probably could go while everyone else is at Hogsmeade this weekend.  
  
HARRY: You want to go?  
  
HERMIONE: I....guess so. Sure. I've read a few things about the actors. They seem to be pretty good. (she blushes slightly but Harry and Ron take no notice.)  
**  
Everyone is now in Muggle London. Harry and Ron got Dumbledore's permission to go to the movie. Dumbledore told them they'd have to count it was a field trip and would have to write an essay comparing themselves with the actors who portray them. The essay would also have to include how real the movie is...and how much it is like real life. He asigned himself, Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape (Ron was highly against this) to acompany them. Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson were going as well. (For no apparent reason except to provide color comentary) Oh wait, Malfoy wanted to have a good laugh at Harry's expense. Pansy's going because she's Malfoy's shadow.  
  
In line for the tickets......  
**  
HERMIONE: There are quite a lot of people here aren't there?  
  
HARRY: (looking around) Yeah.  
  
RON: (jumping with excitment) I wish this line would hurry up! I wonder what I look like?  
  
MALFOY: (sneering, as usual) Calm down, Weasley. If this movie is starring Potter, it can't possibly be worth the money.  
  
**A girl, about 11, comes up to them. In the middle of her forehead is a lightning bolt shaped scar and she is wearing circular glasses with tape keeping them together.**_  
_  
GIRL: (to Harry) You look so much like Harry Potter! (screeches)  
  
HARRY: (scared) Er....yeah.....I get that a lot. (Desperatly trying to cover scar with fringe....er bangs.)  
  
**Malfoy laughs loudly.**  
  
GIRL: (sees Malfoy) DRACO MALFOY!!!!! (screeches) You look just like him!  
  
MALFOY: (stops laughing, now scared.) Er....yeah....I....er get that a lot.  
  
PANSY: (taking Malfoy's arm) He's mine, go away.  
  
GIRL: (gives Pansy death glare and walks away)  
  
MALFOY: I think maybe Potter has a bigger fan club than I thought.  
  
HERMIONE: He doesn't, it's this actor that plays him. Muggle girls between the ages of 8 and 14 are in love with him.  
  
MALFOY: (laughing and sneering at the same time, no small feat even for him.) Girls like Potter?  
  
HERMIONE: Girls like the actor who plays Harry.  
  
RON: Do YOU like him, Hermione? (trying not to laugh)  
  
HERMIONE: Of course not! (blushes)  
  
McGONAGALL: (rushing them forward) Hurry up, better get in and get good seats.  
  
SNAPE: If I didn't know better, Minerva, I'd think you were excited to see this movie.  
  
McGONAGALL: Oh hush up, Severus. I am interested to see who is portraying you. I wonder if he'll have his hair as shiny as yours?  
  
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE: (silent laughter)  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (looking highly amused by everyone's conversations.) Move along, children. (hands out tickets)  
**  
All are seated in the theatre. Seating is as follows-   
Snape, Pansy, Malfoy,McGonagall   
-and behind them-  
Dumbledore, Hermione, Harry, Ron  
  
**MALFOY: (drawling) Why do I have to sit in front of him? (looks back angrily at Harry, who grins happily back)  
  
SNAPE: (seriously) I am highly sorry, Mr. Malfoy. (looks back at grinning Harry) Do not try anything, Potter. I'll take 5 points from Gryffindor before you can say unfair.  
  
HARRY: (smile vanishes) Yes, sir.  
  
RON: (whispers) We really should get some candy or something to throw at them. It'd probably stick in their hair....being so greasy and all.  
  
**Harry laughs loudly, but gets quieted by Professor McGonagall's stern look.**  
  
PANSY: (looking at Draco, shooting daggers at Harry) I'm sorry too, Draco. Don't worry, I'm here.  
  
**Malfoy, replused, pulls out of Pansy's grasp. She grabs him again and he stands up quickly, his elbow connecting with Harry's nose.  
**  
HARRY: OW, you git! (stopping blood flow)  
  
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor!  
  
McGONAGALL: 5 points from Slytherin!  
  
**Dumbledore taps Harry's nose slightly with his wand and the blood stops.**  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (keeping the peace as usual) 5 points to both Gryffindor and Slytherin.  
  
McGONAGALL & SNAPE: (gawking at Dumbledore as if he's a mad man.) What?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (chomping casually on lemon drops.) Miss Granger?  
  
HERMIONE: Yes, Professor?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Would you mind going and getting us some snacks? I'm sure Miss Parkinson will accompany you.  
  
HERMOINE: (horrified, but nodds.) Yes, sir.  
**  
Dumbledore hands Hermione some money. Hermione and Pansy get up, slid out of their rows and leave the theatre.  
**  
RON: (jumping with excitment again) When do you think it will start?  
  
HARRY: (never been to a Muggle theatre before) Dunno.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: There will be a few...Muggles call them previews...then the movie will start.  
  
**10 minutes later, after much bickering, Hermione and Pansy return, each carrying a large amount of snacks. Hermione hands popcorn to both Ron and Harry. Pansy gives Malfoy some twizzlers. Snape gets some sour patch kids. Professor McGonagall gets M&M's. Dumbledore gets popcorn and a candy bar. Hermione and Pansy both have popcorn. Everyone has drinks.  
**  
RON: (looking at his coke) What is this?  
  
HERMIONE: (sternly) You really should have taken Muggle Studies.  
  
RON: (glares at Hermione.) Don't talk school when we're at the movies.  
  
HARRY: (breaking up the fight) That's coka cola. A popular Muggle beverage.  
  
**Ron drinks his coke happily and eats his popcorn. He's never had either and is every enthusiastic. **  
  
RON: (to Malfoy) Oi! Can I have some of those?  
  
MALFOY: (stunned, hands him the twizzlers) Knock yourself out.  
**  
Pansy hands Malfoy her popcorn as she digs some carrot sticks out of her pocket.**_  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: (amused) Why, Miss Parkinson, I didn't realize you were a rabbit.  
  
PANSY: (very angry, but doesn't say anything)  
  
MALFOY, HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: (semi-silent laughter)  
  
**Lights dim, previews start.**  
  
RON: (very loudly) WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!   
**  
Many people look angrily at Ron. Some laugh.**  
  
RON: (looks angry and confused) That is NOT me. That is a girl! HARRY! They made you a girl!  
  
HARRY: (whispers) That's not me, Ron! Shhhhh.  
  
HERMIONE: You REALLY should take Muggle Studies, Ron. That's a Muggle actress. This is a preview.  
  
RON: (too excited to get mad. Ignores Hermione.)  
  
MALFOY: Weasley, do everyone a favor and shut up.  
  
HARRY: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: Shut up, Potter.  
  
SNAPE: 200 points from Gryffindor!!! Stop disrupting the group, Potter!  
  
HARRY: (hissing angrily) He started it!  
  
McGONAGALL: 200 points from Slytherin!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (tired of the bickering) 200 points to BOTH Slytherin and Gyrffindor.  
  
RON: Yeah! Go Dumbledore! Go Dumbledore!  
  
HERMOINE: (hits Ron on the shoulder.) Shut up, Ron! The movie's starting!  
  
**Sure enough, the movie version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone began materializing on the screen. Ron was completely entranced. He was very surprised at how his life was coming TO life on the screen.**_  
_  
RON: (fondly, much like his father) Those Muggles. What will they think of next?_  
  
Privet Drive comes into view and screen Dumbledore takes out his Put-Outer, diminishing the street of light.  
  
Screen Dumbledore: I thought I'd be seeing you here, Professor McGonagall._  
  
McGONAGALL: That doesn't look like you, Albus!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: You don't think so? There is a rather good likeness, I'd say. The beard could be a tad longer. (admires his own beard)  
  
_Professor McGonagall transfigures herself into a human...from a cat._  
  
_Screen McGonagall: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore.   
  
They start walking to number four, Privet Drive.  
  
Screen McGonagall: Are the rumors true, Albus?  
  
_McGONAGALL: (angrily) They do have the Transfiguration part quite right. But....Well! She doesn't look like me at all.   
  
**Everyone looks at her, looks back at the screen and give her strange looks. The two look exactly the same.**  
  
_Dumbledore and McGonagall greet Hagrid. Hagrid hands them baby Harry._  
_  
_MALFOY: (quietly to Harry) That git, Hagrid, is a lot bigger than that. (Pauses) How sweet, there's little Potter.  
  
HARRY: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
SNAPE: (listlessly) 5 points. (seemingly enjoying the movie.)  
  
MALFOY: From who?  
  
SNAPE: Eh?  
  
MALFOY: 5 points from who?  
  
SNAPE: Oh nevermind, Malfoy.  
_  
Harry's scar lights up, title is shown, 10 year old Harry wakes up in cupboard under the stairs._  
  
HARRY: That's me?  
  
HERMIONE: OOOOOooooh. (leans further in her seat) That's Daniel Radcliffe.  
  
RON: (not taking eyes off screen) Who?  
  
HERMIONE: Daniel Radcliffe. He's 12, he plays Harry in the movie. He was in David Copperfield on the BBC as well.  
  
RON: You seem to know an awful lot about him.  
  
MALFOY: (turning around in seat) She probably fancies him.  
  
PANSY: Well, there's no need to wonder why.  
  
**Hermione and Pansy look at each other, smile and start to giggle.  
  
Malfoy, Ron and Harry all shake their heads and go back to the movie.  
  
**_Screen Dudley pushes screen Harry back into his cupboard and runs into the kitchen._  
  
MALFOY: Good GOD, Potter. Is that big oaf your cousin?  
  
HARRY: No, he's a lot heavier than that. That guy is right skinny in comparison.  
  
RON: How true.  
  
HERMOINE: SHHHHHHHHH.  
_  
Screen Harry is taking 'bacon' out of the frying pan. To Americans, that is ham. But whatever. _  
  
_Screen Harry: Yes, Aunt Petunia._  
  
MALFOY: (looks back at Harry) THAT is your family? No wonder you're so disagreeable.  
  
HARRY: ME! Disagreeable! HA!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (breaking in) Oh look Harry, here's the reptile house.  
  
_The reptile house at the zoo comes into view._  
  
RON: Didn't you say Dudley's friend went with you?  
  
HARRY: Yeah, Piers.  
  
_Screen Harry is pushed onto floor by Dudley._  
  
HERMOINE: THAT IDIOT! (blushes)  
  
PANSY: You go girl! Look how beautiful his eyes are when they light up!  
  
MALFOY: I think Pansy and Granger aren't telling us something.  
  
HERMIONE & PANSY: SHHHHHHHH.  
  
_Hagrid gets Harry at the hut on the rock. The Leaky Cauldron comes into view.  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: That is so realistic, you'd think they'd been there. Oooh (tuts) there's poor Professor Quirrell.  
  
McGONAGALL: He did try to kill Harry, you do remember that?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Of course I do, Minerva.  
  
_Harry is in Olivanders. Trying out second wand.  
  
_HARRY: It DID NOT happen that way! I didn't bust anything!  
  
PANSY & HERMOINE: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MALFOY: I really think they fancy you, Potter.  
  
RON: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: Don't worry Weasley, if you're as devilshly good looking in this movie as you are in real life, they'll run screaming from the room and never come back.  
  
**Ron glares angrily, but remembers the movie and turns back.  
  
**_Harry and Hagrid are eating.   
  
Harry: You know, Hagrid. I know you do.   
  
Hagrid begins to tell story of Voldemort. Harry's house comes into view.  
  
_HARRY: Is that---my house?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Looks rather like it, I'd say. Right in Godric's Hollow.  
  
SNAPE: Wow. (looking at Screen Lily.) She looks just like her.  
  
HARRY: She looks like my Mum? (he has apparently forgotten that he's seen his mother in photos and the Mirror of Erised)  
  
SNAPE, DUMBLEDORE & McGONAGALL: Yes.  
  
_Screen Lily screams and falls to the ground. Green light all around.  
_  
HARRY: (choking back tears) That's awful. Is that---?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (nodding) Yes, that's what happened. Mostly.  
  
MALFOY: Oh, dry your eyes, Potter. It's just a movie.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (solemnly) It's his real life, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
**Harry is very stricken seeing his 'mother' die. He wants to leave the theatre, but the hope of being able to make fun of the actor who is Malfoy, keeps him in his seat.**  
  
_Platform 9 3/4  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Packed with Muggles of course.  
  
Harry steers his little trolly thing after them.  
  
_RON: ME!! THERE'S THE BACK OF MY HEAD!**  
  
**HERMOINE: Oooooh. And Fred and George......  
  
PANSY: And----who's that other guy?  
  
HERMIONE: Percy.**  
**  
PANSY: Oooooh. (nods) Ron, you are----  
HERMIONE: You're not bad looking, Ron. In this movie.  
  
RON: (scowls, tears his eyes from screen.) What do you mean, 'in this movie'?  
  
HERMOINE: Shhhh.  
  
_Harry: (to Mrs. Weasley) Excuse me! Can you tell me----  
  
Mrs. Weasley: How to get on the platform dear? Yes, of course. It's Ron's first time too.  
  
Harry looks at Ron. Ron grins._  
  
RON: ME!!  
  
MALFOY: Potter looks less than pleased to meet you.  
  
HARRY: Shut up.  
  
MALFOY: Honestly, how daft can you get, Potter? Didn't know how to get on the platform? (laughs a little)  
  
_Hogwarts Express chugging along the British countryside.  
  
Ron: Mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full.  
  
Ron sits in the compartment with Harry. They introduce each other.   
  
Ron: I'm Ron Weasley by the way.  
  
Harry: Harry Potter.  
  
Ron: Are you really?  
  
Harry pulls back his hair, revealing his scar.  
  
Ron: Wicked!  
  
_MALFOY: Wicked? It's just an ugly scar!  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, Malfoy._  
  
Snack Witch: Anything from the trolly, dears?  
  
Ron: (holds up sandwiches) No thanks, I'm all set.  
  
Harry: (digging around in pockets) We'll take the lot.  
  
_MALFOY: Poor Weasley doesn't have any money.  
  
McGONAGALL: Mr. Malfoy---_  
_  
MALFOY: What?  
  
McGONAGALL: I'm going to take points, Malfoy, very soon. Be quiet.  
  
MALFOY: I'll tell my father.  
  
HARRY: So?_  
  
_HERMIONE: Here I come!_  
  
Ron is about to perform spell on Scabbers.  
  
Hermione: Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one.   
  
_MALFOY: Granger, I had no idea you were good looking under all those books.  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, Malfoy._  
  
Hermione: (looks at Ron) Are you doing magic? Let's see it then.  
  
_MALFOY: (shakes head) You are good looking, Granger. I had no idea.   
  
HERMIONE: (blushing) Oh be quiet.  
  
PANSY: Yeah, Draco. Be quiet. Don't say things you don't mean.  
  
MALFOY: That spell was so pathetic, Weasley, even for you. And where am I? We met in Madame Malkins, remember?  
  
HARRY: Yeah, but if I don't have to see you for a few more minutes, all is well in the world.  
  
MALFOY: (scowls) Shut up, Potter.  
  
_First years are arriving at Hogwarts, walking up the stairs to Professor McGonagall._  
  
McGONAGALL: Honestly! I wish she'd fix her hat!  
  
MALFOY: (screaming like a girl) There I am! There I am!  
  
PANSY: There's Draco!  
  
RON: You know, I look rather good.**  
  
**HERMIONE: I'll say.  
  
**Ron looks at her with a confused expression on his face, but turns back to the movie when Malfoy speaks.**  
  
_Malfoy: It's true then, what they're saying on the train? Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.  
  
_MALFOY: I'm a devishly good looking devil, aren't I?  
  
PANSY: Yes you are!  
  
_Malfoy: This is Crabbe...and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy...Draco Malfoy.  
  
_HERMIONE: Bond. James Bond.  
  
MALFOY: What?  
  
HERMIONE: Line from a Muggle movie._  
  
Ron snickers at Malfoy's name.  
  
Malfoy: Think my name is funny, do you? No need to ask who you are, red hair and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a Weasley.  
  
_SNAPE: Right on, Draco.  
  
MALFOY: GO ME!  
  
RON: I never even laughed at your name. On the outside.  
_  
Malfoy: You'll soon learn that some wizard familes are better than others, Potter. I can help you there.  
  
Holds out hand.  
  
Harry: (looks down at hand, then back up at Draco) I think I can tell for myself, thanks.  
  
_RON: YES!  
  
MALFOY: You're stupider on screen than in real life, Potter.  
  
HARRY: Yeah? Well, your hair is all blonde and greasy. And your front teeth are really large.  
  
MALFOY: (laughing) Snappy comeback.**  
  
All three Professors shush the boys.  
  
**PANSY: (to Harry) I think he's rather good looking. (to Draco) On screen and off.**  
**  
**Harry and Ron roll their eyes.  
**  
HERMIONE: I agree.  
  
**Malfoy, Harry and Ron all turn to look at her. Malfoy grins evily. Ron and Harry look dumbstruck.  
  
**SNAPE, McGONAGALL & DUMBLEDORE: Shhhhh.  
  
_Sorting Ceremony. McGonagall calls Hermione's name.  
  
Hermoine whispers to herself about not being nervous.  
  
Ron: Mental, that one. I'm telling ya.  
_  
HERMIONE: How could you say that!?  
  
RON: (innocently) I didn't!  
  
HARRY: He really didn't.  
  
PANSY: SHHhh! It's Daniel's turn!!! I mean.....Potter's.  
  
**Hermione turns huffily to the screen, and her face softens.**  
**  
**MALFOY: The hat looks creepy on screen.  
  
HARRY: Yeah.**  
  
Everyone turns to them, shocked.  
  
**McGONAGALL: Did Potter and Malfoy just agree?  
  
SNAPE: I'm afraid so.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Splendid! I knew this movie would do some good.  
_  
Harry: (whispering) Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.  
  
Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? You'd do well, it's all here in your head.  
  
_MALFOY: Why not Slytherin?  
  
RON: It's obvious isn't it? Because you're in it.  
_  
Hat: Well, if you're sure. Better be GRYFFINDOR!!!!!  
  
Harry takes his seat at Gryffindor table, people congradulate him and shake his hand. Among the hand shakers are Lee Jordan, Percy Weasley, Fred and George Weasley and Oliver Wood._  
  
HERMIONE: OLIVER WOOD!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PANSY: SEAN BIGGERSTAFF!!!!!!!!  
**  
Hermione and Pansy erupt in giggles. Whole theatre quiets them.**  
**  
**MALFOY: Weasley, you were right about her. She is mental.  
  
_Percy: Be careful of the staircases. They like to change.  
  
Staircases above them change.  
  
_HARRY: It doesn't look like that.  
  
HERMIONE: (scribbling notes on a piece of parchment.) No. I'm writing that down.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: 5 points to Gryffindor for Miss Granger taking notes.  
  
**Harry peers over Hermione and looks at her parchment.**  
  
HARRY: (to Ron in a whisper) All it says is Oliver Wood is hotter on screen. Harry is hotter (Daniel Radcliffe), as well as Ron (Rupert Grint) and Malfoy (Tom Felton). Staircases change. She seems to have these actors names memorized.  
  
RON: She thinks we're hotter on screen?  
  
HARRY: (shrugging) Apparently.  
  
RON: I don't think Oliver is hot at all.  
  
PANSY: How could you! (reaches to slap him, but McGonagall shoes her hand away.)  
  
**Harry shrugs and they all look back at the movie.  
  
**MALFOY: Is that really the enterance to the Gryffindor common room?  
  
SNAPE: Yes.  
  
MALFOY: Cool. I can use that to my advantage.  
  
HARRY: You still need the password.  
  
MALFOY: What? It's not Caput Draconis anymore?  
  
HARRY AND RON: (laughing) Of course not!   
  
HARRY: That was over 4 years ago! We're not stupid, you know.  
  
MALFOY: Could have fooled me.  
  
McGONAGALL: That's enough, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
_Next morning at breakfast. Great Hall. Owls dropping packages to everyone along the table.  
  
_HERMOINE: Pansy! There he is again!  
  
PANSY: WHERE? WHERE?  
  
HERMIONE: Missed him!  
  
PANSY: DAMN!  
  
HARRY: What is wrong with you two?  
  
MALFOY: Yeah, really? What has gotten into you?  
  
PANSY: Shut up, Draco.  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, Harry.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Coming Attraction:  
The gang sees the first classes, the Quidditch match and Fluffy.   
Hermione and Pansy drool over Sean Biggerstaff.  
Snape takes about 1,000 points from Gryffindor for Ron's sudden outburst over a certain Quidditch player.  
McGonagall takes 5 points from Slytherin for Malfoy's snide remarks about Harry's broom riding skills.  
Dumbledore reinstates all of the points lost for no apparent reason.  
  
  
I'd love it if you reviewed!!_  
_


	2. The Middle

Muggle Movies  


  
**Harry and Malfoy look at each other with stunned expressions on their faces. Malfoy preceeds to look at Pansy like she's lost her mind...which is a normal occurance.  
  
**_Harry and Ron are running into Professor McGonagall's classroom. They are late for Transfiguration.  
_  
MALFOY: (spotting himself on screen) There's me!  
  
RON: (happily) And me! And Harry! And you, Hermione!  
  
**Harry looks at them like they're completely mad, but he doesn't say anything. Muggles around them are begining to look at him oddly. What a surprise.  
**_  
Ron: Can you imagine the look on McGonagall's face if we're late?  
  
P.McGonagall transfigures from cat on the desk to herself.****_  
  
_Ron: That was bloody brilliant!  
  
McGonagall: That you for that assesment, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps if I transfigured you into a pocketwatch, you wouldn't be late?  
  
Harry: We got lost.  
  
McGonagall: Perhaps a map, then? I trust you can find your seats.  
  
****_Malfoy is snorting coke (cola) out his nose from laughing so hard.  
  
MALFOY: You tell 'em, Professor!  
  
McGONAGALL: Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, but do be quiet.  
  
HARRY: (angrily hissing to Ron in a low voice) She didn't even say that to us. She never did!_  
  
_HERMIONE: (thinking, not paying attention to movie) Hey, Pansy...if Oliver Wood is this hot, Cedric Diggory must be REALLY hot.  
  
PANSY: (giggling) Yeah. Cedric. Oooh. They haven't cast him yet for the second movie though. He better be good looking, that's all I have to say.  
  
HERMIONE: Here, here. (raises her hand in the air like she's holding a glass.)  
  
SNAPE: (angrily) Will you be quiet?  
  
PANSY: (to Snape) Yeah, when you come on the screen. (to Hermione) Alan Rickman, I heard.  
  
HERMOINE: Yes, that's true. He is Alan Rickman. Or rather Alan Rickman is him. (she ponders this) He'll have black hair anyway.  
  
_Quiet chatter is the only noise (besides bubbling cauldrons for some reason) in the Potions room until P.Snape bursts through the door._  
  
MALFOY: There you are, Professor! (points anxiously to the screen.)  
  
HARRY: You are such a teacher's pet.  
  
MALFOY: YOU are a Headmaster's pet. (glances pointedly at Dumbledore who is unsticking some more Lemon Drops.)  
  
HARRY: (shakes head) Be quiet.  
  
MALFOY: You be quiet.  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, both of you!_  
  
Snape: Mr. Potter, our new celebrity. _  
_  
_HARRY: I hated when you said that.  
  
SNAPE: I can tell. (Has just seen Harry give him a disbelieving look on screen.)  
  
HERMIONE: You know, Professor, Alan Rickman doesn't look very much like you.  
  
McGONAGALL: I disagree, Miss Granger. I think there is quite a resemblance.  
  
RON: (in an undertone to Harry) Just in the greasy hair._  
  
_MALFOY: (to Snape) I remember when you said those things, Professor. I thought it was great when you said, (imitates Snape's slow and cold voice) "Pitty. Clearly, fame isn't everything."  
  
SNAPE: 20 points to Slytherin. Thank you, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
HARRY & RON: (hissing at Malfoy) Teacher's pet.  
  
MALFOY: I don't believe Potter was actually taking notes.  
  
SNAPE: He wasn't.  
  
HARRY: I wasn't. But I was paying attention.  
  
SNAPE: (smirking) Sure._  
  
Flying lesson.   
  
Madame Hooch: Put your right hand over the broom and say 'Up'.   
  
Class: UP!  
  
Harry's broom jumps into his hand.  
  
Harry: Whoa.  
  
Hermione's broom hasn't budged. Neither has Seamus' or Ron's.  
  
Malfoy's jumps into his hand.  
  
_MALFOY: (smugly) I'm the man. Yes I am._  
  
Ron: Up! Up. UP!  
  
Broom hits Ron in the face. Harry snickers.  
  
Ron: Shut up Harry.  
  
_MALFOY: You tell him, Weasley.  
  
RON: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: Make me.  
  
HERMOINE: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: Make me, Granger. (wiggles eyebrows suggestively.) Seriously. Make me.  
  
HERMIONE: Not if you were the last wizard in the world.  
  
MALFOY: What if I offed Sean Whatever his name is? Then would you?  
  
HERMIONE: No, I would hate you for all eternity if you 'offed' him.  
  
_Neville has just fallen and Madame Hooch has taken him to the hospital wing.  
  
Malfoy: (picks up Neville's remembrall) Did you see him? The great lump.   
  
_HERMOINE: You are SO mean!  
  
PANSY: But SOOOO good looking!  
  
**Hermione raises an eyebrow and surveys Malfoy and then screen Malfoy. She shrugs. Malfoy grins.**_  
  
Malfoy: Maybe if he hadn't forgotten this, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass.  
  
_HERMIONE: Malfoy! That is cruel!  
  
MALFOY: I never said that. (shakes head)  
  
HARRY: He didn't. I remember.  
  
MALFOY: Thank you, Potter._  
  
****_Harry chokes on his popcorn. _  
  
Harry: Give it here, Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy: No, I think I'll leave it for somewhere for Longbottom to find. Maybe on the roof?_  
  
MALFOY: I said up a tree.  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
_Malfoy jumps on his broom and glides off camera, standing straight up. Then he flies off.  
  
_MALFOY: (to Hermione, with great interest) Do you have the hots for me too?  
  
PANSY: (patting him on the arm) Not you, dear Draco. Tom Felton.  
  
MALFOY: (confused and bewildered) Who? What?  
  
PANSY: Quiet.  
  
MALFOY: (ignoring Pansy as usual) That was a very smooth broom trick, wasn't it, Potter?  
  
HARRY: (thinking) Yeah, it was quite good.  
  
RON: (nodding) Yes, it was.  
  
MALFOY: Thanks. I should try that when we get back to the castle.  
  
_Hermoine: No way, Harry. You heard what Madame Hooch said. You'll get us all into trouble.  
  
Harry takes flight after Malfoy.  
  
Hermoine: What an idiot._  
  
HARRY: Hey!_  
  
_HERMIONE: (soothingly) I didn't really say that, Harry.   
  
MALFOY: Seems right on target to me.  
  
HERMOINE: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
PANSY: Shut up! You and Daniel are about to face off!  
  
_Harry: Give it here or I'll knock you off that broom.  
  
Malfoy: Oh yeah?_  
  
_Malfoy throws remembrall and Harry takes off after it but not after showing one of his many great 'angry faces'.  
  
_PANSY: I love that face.  
  
HERMIONE: (considering) Oh, me too. Me too. The smile's good too, though.  
  
PANSY: (thinking) Yes, I suppose you're right._  
  
****_Malfoy, Harry and Ron all loook at them like they're completely insane._  
  
Harry catches the remembrall just before it hits P.McGonagall's window. She looks up, livid.  
  
_MALFOY: Somebody's in trouble.  
  
RON: If you'll remember correctly, that's how Harry got on the Quidditch team. He didn't get in trouble.  
  
**Malfoy looks huffy.**  
_  
Everyone (but the Slytherins) are congratulating Harry.   
  
P.McGonagall: Harry Potter, come with me.  
  
Harry walks off with her. Arrive in front of DADA classroom.  
  
McGonagall: Professor Quirrell, can I borrow Wood for a moment?  
  
_HARRY: It's supposed to be Charms.  
  
PANSY AND HERMOINE: SHHHHHHHH.  
  
HERMIONE: (hissing) He's coming!  
  
_Quirrell: Y-yes o--of c--c-course.  
  
Wood steps out to face McGonagall and Harry.  
  
_HERMOINE: WOOOOOOOO!  
  
**Whole theatre, minus teenage girls, look at her like she's lost her mind.**  
_  
McGonagall: Wood, I've found you a seeker!  
  
_MALFOY: Wood doesn't look that stupid in real life.  
  
HERMOINE: (beyond angry) WHAT?  
  
PANSY: (putting up fists) Say that again!  
  
MALFOY: (cowers) Nevermind.  
  
_Harry and Ron are walking. Fred and George are behind them. _  
  
_Ron: But you must be the youngest seeker in---  
  
Harry: A century. According to McGonagall.  
  
_HERMIONE: According to Wood! The book says Wood!  
  
PANSY: You go girl! Write the author, Herm!  
  
HERMIONE: Script writer, Pans.  
  
**Everyone in the theatre is now blatently ignoring them. Harry is wondering when they started calling each other by nicknames.**_  
  
_PANSY: Oh.  
  
HERMOINE: You should take Muggle Studies. Why aren't they showing more of Fred and George?  
  
PANSY: Dunno, but it wouldn't hurt if they did. _  
  
Fred (or George): Our job is to make sure you don't get bloodied up too bad. But I'm not making any promises. Rough game, Quidditch!  
  
Fred and George say something else as Ron and Harry go out on the grounds. Harry is worried he won't make a good seeker. Hermione runs up to them.  
  
Hermione: You won't make a fool of yourself, Harry. It's in your blood.  
  
_RON: You never said that, Hermione._  
  
Hermione shows Ron and Harry a trophy case with some badges in it. One says 'James Potter, Seeker'.  
_  
HERMOINE: (confused) What?   
**  
Hermione digs around in her backpack for a copy of the Philosopher's Stone and begins to flip through it, muttering something about the script writer taking 'liberties'.**_  
  
_HERMIONE: I really don't think it said anything in the book about Harry's dad being seeker.  
  
**Harry, Ron and Malfoy all shrug.  
  
**_Staircases are changing. They end up in the forbidden third floor corridor.  
_  
MALFOY: So that's how you get into trouble. Completely on accident. And here people are thinking you're some big hero or something.   
  
DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Malfoy, please be quiet._  
  
Hermione: Alohomora.   
  
Door unlocks, they go inside. Filch is outside with Mrs. Norris.  
  
_MALFOY: He looks just like that in real life. I'd of thought that was really him, if I didn't know better.  
  
McGONAGALL: I completely agree, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: (kindly) Thank you, Professor._  
  
Hermione: Filch is gone.  
  
Ron: He probably thinks this door is locked.  
  
Hermione: It WAS locked.  
  
Harry: And for good reason.  
  
Fluffy is snoring peacefully but then suddenly wakes up. Trio all scream crazily and run out, shutting door behind them.  
  
_MALFOY: (mutters) Wimps._  
  
Hermoine, Harry and Ron are back in common room.  
  
Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?  
  
Ron: I was too busy with its heads. In case you didn't notice, there were THREE!  
  
Hermione: It was standing on a trap door. It's guarding something. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. Before either you come up with another plan to get us killed...or worse...expelled.  
  
_MALFOY: That is so like you, Granger._  
  
Hermione shuts door to girl's dorm.  
  
Ron: That girl needs to sort out her priorities.  
  
_MALFOY: Finally Weasley says something worth while!_  
  
****_Harry, Ron and Hermoine all shoot him a look telling him to shut up.  
  
PANSY: Herm! Look! There he is!  
  
**Hermione's head snaps up to look at the screen. (I think this part is messed up. I can't remember what part of the movie this scene is in.)**_  
  
Wood and Harry go out onto grounds. Wood is carrying large wooden crate. He sets it on the ground. Goes through whole Quidditch speal.   
  
Wood hands Harry wooden Beater's bat.  
  
Wood: Here, you better take this.   
  
_HERMIONE: FINALLY! He speaks!  
  
PANSY: Ooooh, the accent!  
  
RON: Seamus has that accent, big deal.  
  
HERMIONE: Seamus does not have that accent.  
  
RON: Yes he does.  
  
PANSY: Who's Seamus?  
  
_Wood: Not bad, Potter. You'd make a fair Beater._  
  
HARRY: (surprised) He never said that. Would I make a fair Beater?  
  
RON: I don't know, as this isn't real life. That guy on the screen is not you.  
  
HARRY: (shaking his head at Ron) Well, I know that!  
  
McGONAGALL: Children, will you kindly be quiet?  
  
SNAPE: Or else I'll take 3,000 points from Gryffindor.  
  
McGONAGALL: And I'll take 4,000 from Slytherin.  
  
_Wood falls to ground as he catches the crazy Bludger._  
  
RON: What an ididot.  
  
HERMOINE: What did you say?  
  
RON: He's a git. Look how he's handleing that thing. (to screen) GO BACK TO SCOTLAND!  
  
HERMOINE & PANSY: (angry, very red in the face.) Shut up, Weasley!  
  
SNAPE: 1,000 points from Gryffindor for Mr. Weasley's sudden outburst.   
  
McGONAGALL: 1,000 points from Slytherin for Miss Parkinson's sudden outburst.  
  
SNAPE: Her's wasn't sudden. 1,000 points from Gryffindor for Granger's outburst.  
  
McGONAGALL: If Miss Parkinson's was not sudden, then neither was Miss Grangers. Oh, who cares.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: 1,000 points to Slytherin. 2,000 to Gryffindor.  
  
MALFOY: Way to keep the peace, Old Man.  
  
McGONAGALL: Do not call the Headmaster 'Old Man', Mr. Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: (shrugs) Sorry.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: It's quite all right, Draco.  
  
_Charms. Ron is waving his wand madly at the feather he is supposed to make fly.  
  
Hermoine: No, no, no. You're going to put someone's eye out. Plus, you're doing it wrong.  
  
Ron: (angrily) Well you do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on.  
  
Hermione: Wingardeum Leviosa.   
  
Feather floats off desk and into air.  
  
P.Flitwick: Look everyone! Miss Granger's done it!  
  
_MALFOY: Show off.  
  
HERMIONE: Slytherin.  
  
_BOOM. Seamus' feather has just exploaded. Seamus is very charred.   
  
Harry: I think we're going to need another feather over here, Professor.  
_  
MALFOY: Good one, Potter. Well spotted! And what am I doing in YOUR Charms class?   
  
HARRY: I didn't say that in real life. Seamus never blew up his feather.  
  
RON: Yes he did.  
  
HERMIONE: He did, Harry. You've probably just blocked it out. Seamus has blown up quite a lot in his day.  
_  
Ron: (walking with Harry, Dean and Seamus) It's no wonder she doesn't have any friends.  
  
Hermione pushes past them angrily. She's crying.  
  
_MALFOY: Poor Mudblood's crying. Boo who.  
  
McGONAGALL: Language, Malfoy. 5 points from Gryffindor.  
  
SNAPE: He's only stating the obvious, Minerva.  
  
McGONAGALL: I will not have swearing, Severus.  
  
HERMIONE: Shut up, Malfoy.  
  
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor.  
  
**Dumbledore seems to think these are deserved because he keeps quiet. Either that or he's too busy eating his Lemon Drops to care.**  
  
MALFOY: (turning around to face her) Gladly. When you admit it to yourself that you're in love with me.  
  
HERMOINE: Ha! Right. Sure. (looks back at movie, but face is rather red.)  
**  
Malfoy looks very smug.**_  
  
Halloween feast. Everyone is eating happily, talking away.   
  
Harry: Where's Hermoine?  
  
Neville: Parvati Patil said she's been in the girl's bathroom all day...crying.  
  
_MALFOY: That's the most that great lump's said the whole film._  
  
Quirrell: (running into the Great Hall, looking out of breath and very insane.) TROLLLLLLL IN THE DUNGEONS!!!!!!!! (stops) Just thought you'd like to know. (passes out.)  
  
All kids in Great Hall: (throwing down food and jumping up out of seats) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
_HARRY: (laughing like mad) Malfoy....I think you're going to pee your pants!!!  
  
RON: (laughing crazily, sitting on the floor, clutching his stomache) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Malfoy! HAHA!  
  
_Dumbledore: SILENCE!!!!  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: (chuckling quietly) Yes indeed. He did look like he was going to pee his pants.  
  
**Ron bursts into more laughter.**_  
  
Dumbledore: Prefects....you will escort your houses to the common rooms...teachers will follow me to the dungeons.  
  
Snape disappears behind door.  
_  
HARRY: (to Snape) Now you see why we suspected you?  
  
SNAPE: (calmly) Yes, I understand now, Potter. I no longer hate you. (glares)  
  
MALFOY: (laughing) That was sarcasm, Potter.  
  
HARRY: (sarcastically) Yeah, thanks. Didn't notice.  
  
_Harry grabs Ron and pulls him out of line._  
  
_Harry: Hermione!  
  
Ron: What about her?  
  
Harry: She doesn't know about the troll!  
  
Harry and Ron take off to girl's bathroom.  
  
Hermione is in the girl's bathroom, wiping her eyes. Looks up. Troll growls loudly and raises his club.  
  
Hermione runs into stall.  
  
Troll growls and brings club down on stalls, shattering them. Hermione screams and runs under a sink. Harry and Ron enter scene.  
  
Harry: Hermione! Move!  
  
Hermione screams and scuttles under another sink just as troll shatters the one she'd been under.  
  
Harry grabs onto troll's club. Troll raises club, bringing Harry onto his shoulders. Harry is whipped around wildly, he sticks his wand up the troll's nose.  
  
_MALFOY: (screaming like a girl) EEEWWWWW!!!!! Potter, clean your wand!!!  
  
HARRY: (shaking his head) That was years ago, Malfoy. I've cleaned it since then.  
  
MALFOY: (calmly) Oh._  
  
Harry is being held by troll's hand as the troll tries to hit him with the club. Harry is upside down.  
  
Harry: Do something!  
  
Ron: What?  
  
Harry: Anything!   
  
Harry almost gets hit with club again.   
  
Hermione: (from under sink) Swish and flick!  
  
Ron: (swishing and flicking like a pro) Wingardeum Leviosa!   
_  
RON: (in awe of himself) I look good!  
  
MALFOY: (snorts with laughter) Sure, Weasley, whatever you say._  
  
Troll's club is taken out of his hand. Club lands on troll's head, Harry is dropped. Troll lands on ground.   
_  
MALFOY: I wouldn't think it would be hard to get him, though, that troll is really stupid._  
  
_RON: And really large.  
  
_Harry takes wand out of troll's nose. Yucky, clear stuff is hanging off it.  
  
Harry: Troll bogies.  
  
_AUDIENCE: Ewwwww._  
  
McGonagall, Snape and Quirrell enter bathroom.  
  
McGonagall: What happened here?  
  
Ron and Harry stutter things.  
  
Hermione: Please Professor. It was my fault. I came here to see if I could get the troll myself. I've read all about them. If Harry and Ron hadn't come along....I'd probably be dead.  
  
Ron and Harry look astounded. Harry sees Snape's very bloody leg. Snape covers it up and glares at him.  
  
_MALFOY: What is that, Professor?  
  
SNAPE: Nothing, Malfoy.  
  
RON: Snape got bitten by Fluffy.  
  
MALFOY: Who's Fluffy?  
  
HERMIONE: Haven't you read the books?  
  
MALFOY: What books?  
  
HERMIONE: Read the books. Fluffy's the three headed dog that's guarding the Philosopher's Stone.  
  
RON: Well, you just ruined it for him. The climax. Might as well leave, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: Shut up, Weasley.  
  
RON: Clever come-back.  
  
MALFOY: (glaring) Shut up._  
  
McGonagall: (in the middle of scolding them) Pure dumb luck!_  
  
MALFOY: RIGHT ON!  
  
_Quirrell ushers children out of bathroom. Troll grunts, gives Quirrell a heart attack._  
  
MALFOY: There is something seriously wrong with that man.  
  
HARRY: Oh, let me think. Hmmm. Voldemort is hidden under his turban!   
  
RON: Don't say the same, Harry!**  
  
**AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: Will you please be quiet! You're going to ruin the movie for everyone!**  
  
**_Next morning at breakfast.****_  
_  
Harry: (firmly) I'm not hungry.  
  
_MALFOY: Well, I wouldn't be either. Look at that gross stuff.  
  
RON: He's not hungry because of the Quidditch game.  
  
MALFOY: Oh well, of course. You were very worried to go against Slytherin. Might fall off your broom, I suppose. Oh wait. You nearly did!_  
  
Snape: (walking up to trio, limping) Good luck today, Potter. Now that you've proven yourself against a mountain troll, I imagine a little game of Quidditch will be easy.  
  
Limps off.  
  
Harry: Well, that explains the blood.  
  
Hermione: (confused for the first time in her life) Blood?  
  
Harry tells them about the blood and cut on Snape's leg from the night before. Tells them he suspects Snape let troll in.  
  
_SNAPE: (turns to Harry) You little-----  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (severely) Severus.  
  
SNAPE: (sits back in seat) Sorry.  
  
_Wood: Nervous, Harry?  
  
Harry: (looking like he's going to be sick.) A little.  
_  
PANSY: He is SOOOO hot.  
  
HERMIONE: Back off, he's a Gryffindor. You're a Slytherin.  
  
PANSY: Wanna fight?  
  
McGONAGALL: Girls!  
  
RON: (pleading) Don't interrupt them, Professor!  
  
MALFOY: (disapointed) We almost saw a great cat fight! (to Harry) Are they talking about you or Wood?  
  
HARRY: Wood, probably.  
  
HERMOINE: Wood, definitely.  
  
_Wood: I remember my first Quidditch game.  
  
Harry: What happened?  
  
Wood: Got hit with a bludger in the head. Woke up in the hospital a week later._  
  
HERMOINE: I hope he's okay!  
  
PANSY: He's fine, look at him.  
  
HERMIONE: Absolutely fine.  
  
PANSY: Yup.  
  
_Lee Jordan: I'm your commentator Lee Jordan and welcome to the first Quidditch game of the season. Slytherin versus Gryffindor!!!  
  
Harry is flying around pitch, high above the crowd.  
  
_MALFOY: Choppy flying skills, Potter.  
  
HARRY: At least I'm on a broom, Malfoy._  
****_  
MALFOY: Not for long. (points to screen.)  
  
_Harry is flying around, looking for the snitch.   
  
Wood blocks Quaffle and raises his eyebrows at Slytherin dude._  
  
HERMOINE: OOoooooh.  
  
PANSY: THAT is the best part of the movie. Hands down.  
  
HERMOINE: Agreed.  
  
_Wood is knocked in the stomache by a Bludger hit by the Slytherin dude._  
  
HERMIONE: JERK!  
  
PANSY: FOUL!  
  
_Wood falls to the ground with a loud thud._  
  
HERMIONE & PANSY: NOOOOOOO!  
  
MALFOY: Look at me! I'm laughing! HaHaHa! I'm perfect in this movie!  
  
AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: (to all of them) Shut up, will you?  
  
HARRY: (to Ron) That didn't happen in the first match. He never fell.  
  
RON: Too bad.  
  
HARRY: You don't like Wood, Ron?  
  
RON: No. I don't like Sean Biggerstaff. The shorter time he's on the screen, the better.  
  
PANSY: (jumps back, about to strangle Ron) Take that back, Weasley!  
  
SNAPE: Sit down, Miss Parkinson.  
  
McGONAGALL: Or I'll take points.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Lots of them.  
  
**Pansy sits. Her arms are now crossed across her chest.**  
  
_Harry is hanging onto his broom with one hand as it goes all over the place.  
  
_MALFOY: It's a shame you didn't fall, Potter. (pauses) Surprise too. You're broom skills aren't exactly wonderful.  
  
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) Well, at least I can catch the snitch, Malfoy.  
  
RON: Yeah, you tell him Harry.  
  
McGONAGALL: Boys.  
  
SNAPE: I'll take points. Be quiet.  
  
MALFOY: Should I buy you some glue for Christmas, Potter? Maybe that way you can stay on your broom. We'll glue your arse to it.  
  
McGONAGALL: 5 points from Slytherin. (looks at Snape.) Aren't you going to say anything?  
  
SNAPE: No. He deserved it. Potter's flying isn't half bad.  
  
HARRY: (about to pass out from shock.) Thank you.  
  
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor. No talking in the theatre.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: 5 points to Gryffindor._  
  
Hermione is lighting fire to Snape's robes as he mutters under his breath. Quirrell falls over, breaking his eye contact from game._  
  
SNAPE: It was you!  
  
HERMIONE: (looking guilty) Sorry. I thought it was you who was you know.....  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Bygones, Severus.  
  
_Harry has tumbled to the ground. He stands up, looking like he's going to be sick.   
  
Hagrid: He looks like he's going to be sick!_  
  
MALFOY: Duh._  
  
Snitch comes out of Harry's mouth.  
  
Madame Hooch: Gryffindor wins!  
****_  
Harry and Ron give loud 'whoops' that attract a lot of attention in the theatre. Dumbledore shushes them so they won't be kicked out.  
  
_Hagrid: That is between Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel....I shouldn't have told you that._  
  
MALFOY: (shaking head and laughing.) Great big oaf. (imitating) Oh no. I shouldn't have told you that! I'll get meself into trouble, I will. Dumbledore'll kick me out and I'll no longer be poor Potter's friend! Oh no!  
  
HERMIONE: (hissing) SHUT UP, Malfoy.  
  
_Harry: Who's Nicholas Flamel?  
  
Hermione: I don't know._  
  
HERMIONE: I don't believe I said that. I think you never asked that either. If memory serves, you had seen Nicholas Flamel on the back of Dumbledore's wizard card from a Chocolate Frog. Which reminds me...Chocolate Frogs don't JUMP! They aren't real like they showed in the movie. They are completely stationary.  
  
MALFOY: You tell 'em, Granger.  
  
RON: (ignoring both Malfoy and Hermoine) What's next, Harry? (jumps up and down in seat, jabbing Harry in the shoulder trying to get his attention.)  
  
HARRY: (looking utterly bored) I don't know, Ron. Stop poking me.  
_  
_----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
COMING ATTRACTIONS:  
Harry gets the invisibility cloak. "My body's gone!"  
More wonderfully charming comments from Mr. Malfoy.  
Hermione dumps her soda on an unsuspecting person.  
Ron critiques the Chess Scene.  
Everyone comes face to face with screen Voldemort.  
Someone passes out from fright.**  
**  
[Author's Note: The last time I saw the movie was over a week ago and even though I've seen it four times, some of the scenes might be out of order. I'm sorry about that. If you notice that one is, just let me know but please no flames! I didn't tape the movie, lol, so there's no way for me to check these things. Plus, I'm not allowed to go see it again until after Christmas, lol. The main thing is that the lines are all pretty much correct. (Most of them.) If you're a stickler to details, I don't mind if you tell me something that's wrong.]  
  
**Thanks to the Reviewers:  
**  
Weasleys Rock - Thanks! I really appreciate your help. I do know that Draco is in all of Harry's classes in the movie, thanks for pointing out Potions, though, because I forgot about that. (I've added it now) I know about Care of Magical Creatures not being until book 3 too, but thanks.  
  
wakaba-chan - Thanks! There will be riots about the deleted scenes, lol, just wait and see. :)  
  
Quirky - Yes I agree. Sean Biggerstaff is really hot!  
  
All Mighty Terrestrial - Well, the kids don't know for sure that they are the characters, lol. But...well, I don't want to give anything away, but keep reading. The loony bin people, I'm surprised about that too. lol.  
  
soulfulstressed - I hope you didn't short circuit your keyboard! It's hard not to, I know, where Sean is concerned.  
  
faerietale, Janet, Caitiy, icestar, rokjai, Amarissa, starrynight, Hobbes19, Nuriko Metallium, Harry & Lou, JeNn, v_laa, Maiden of Slytherin, Yay, Son Mina Briefs, The Merlin, star bunny, doesn't matter, and hooshie!!!! Thanks so much for your reviews! I hope you like this chapter as much!  
  
  
  
  



	3. More Middle

Muggle Movies****  


  
Malfoy is sipping his soda. Harry is munching on his popcorn. Ron is sitting on the edge of his seat. Hermione is taking notes that look like, "HG + SB" all through her notebook.  
  
_Ron and Harry are playing Wizard's chess in Great Hall. Hermione is walking up to them._  
  
PANSY: Was that him!??? (straining her neck to see.)  
  
HERMIONE: I think so!  
  
MALFOY: What are you to on about?  
  
HARRY: Wood.  
  
MALFOY: (giving Harry a 'I should have known' look) Of course. Who else.  
  
_Chessman takes chair and wallops other chess guy.   
  
Hermione: That is totally barbaric.  
  
_HERMIONE: It really is._  
  
Ron: That's Wizard's Chess. I see you've packed.  
  
Hermione: I see you haven't._  
  
MALFOY: (shaking head) What is the point of that? It's so obvious! Why are they stating the obvious!?  
  
HERMIONE: You're starting to sound like me.  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) Was that a jab at yourself?  
  
HERMIONE: (huffily) No.  
  
_Ron: Change of plans. My parents decided to go to Romaina to visit my brother, Charlie. He's studying dragons there.  
  
_RON: God, I am such a good actor!  
  
MALFOY: (looking at Ron like he's nuts.) That's not you.  
  
RON: (shrugs) I don't care.  
_  
Hermione: Oh good, you can stay and help Harry then. He's going to look up Nickolas Flamel in the library.  
  
Ron: Again?! We've looked about a hundred times.  
  
Hermione: Not in the restricted section. Happy Christmas.  
  
Ron: (to Harry) I think we're a bad influence on her.  
  
_RON: Good line!! (to Harry) Did I say that in real life? Because if I didn't, I shouldn't have.  
  
HARRY: I can't remember, Ron.  
_  
Christmas. Exterior of castle. It is snowing._  
  
McGONAGALL: That's pretty.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, it is. The castle looks so real.  
  
SNAPE: Yes.  
  
McGONAGALL: Yes. I think they only thing they didn't get right was the North Tower, but no matter.  
  
SNAPE: The Potions room left a lot to be desired.  
  
McGONAGALL: Your attitude was accurate.  
  
SNAPE: 5 points from Gryffindor.  
  
McGONAGALL: You can't take points from ME, Severus.  
  
SNAPE: Who says?  
  
McGONAGALL: You are such a child. (crosses arms and looks away with pouty expression on face.)**  
**_  
Ron yelling up stairs to Harry.  
  
_RON: There's me in my Weasley sweater. Maroon of course._  
  
Ron is eating Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans. Harry is opening package.  
_  
RON: PUT THE BEANS DOWN, ME! PUT THEM DOWN!  
  
AUDIENCE MEMBER #3: (behind Ron) QUIET!**  
  
**HARRY: Why was Hedwig in the room? She should be in the owlery.  
  
MALFOY: Haven't you noticed? She's been in your room the whole movie.  
  
HARRY: Well, that's wrong. She's supposed to be in the owlery.  
  
MALFOY: You said that already.  
  
HARRY: What's it to you? **  
  
**_Harry: (reading note) Your father left this is in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well.   
  
_RON: (whispering to Harry in excitment) That's from Dumbledore!  
**  
Dumbledore is smiling at him happily. Harry seems to be getting very sick of Ron. He is sitting at the edge of his seat, not because he's anxious to see the movie, but because that is the farthest he can get from Ron. Ron keeps jabbing him the in the shoulder excitidly.   
  
**_Ron: What is it?  
  
Harry: It's some sort of cloak.  
  
_HARRY: The cloak doesn't look that that. (shakes head) It's silvery, like water. It doesn't look like an old tapestry.  
  
MALFOY: I didn't know you had an invisibility cloak, Potter!_  
  
_HARRY: Well, of course you didn't. Like I'd want you to know!_  
  
Ron: Well, let's see, then. Put it on.  
  
Harry puts cloak on and his body disappears._  
  
_Harry: (looking down and turning around) My body's gone!_  
  
MALFOY: Really? Oh my gosh! I hadn't noticed!  
  
PANSY: (giggles) Shut up, Drac. That was a cute line.  
_  
Ron: Whoa!!! (stands up) I know what that is! That's an invisibility cloak! They're really rare. (picks up note) I wonder who sent it.  
  
Harry: There was no name. It just said: Use it well.  
  
_MALFOY: Duhn, duhn, duhn!!!!_  
  
Harry's hand is walking through library holding lantern._  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I'm glad Mr. Filch isn't here to see this. (winks at Harry.)**  
  
**HARRY: You and me both.  
  
RON: What happened to your Weasley sweater?  
  
HARRY: (shrugs) I dunno.  
  
MALFOY: (rolling eyes) Too bad we didn't get to see that wonderful piece of knitting, Weasley. It must have cost your whole house to pay for the yarn for all those sweaters.  
  
RON: Oh shut up, Malfoy.**  
  
**_Harry picks up a book. A head pops out of the page, screaming. Harry shuts it quickly and rams it back on the shelf.  
  
Filch: Who's there?  
  
Harry whips around._  
  
MALFOY: Run, Potter!  
  
_Harry gets cloak and puts it on._  
  
HERMIONE: That looks rather cool.  
  
MALFOY: (turns to look at her) You know, you're right. It does. (to Harry) Can I borrow that sometime, Potter?  
  
HARRY: No.  
  
MALFOY: Fine, I'll tell Filch about it then. He'd love to add it to his collection.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (calmly) I wouldn't want to have to use a memory charm on you, Draco.   
  
MALFOY: (to Harry) Nevermind.  
  
_Harry is walking along corridor. Snape is talking to Quirrell.  
  
Snape: .....Where your loyalties lie._  
  
HARRY: See how suspicious you looked to us?  
  
SNAPE: 10 points, Potter. Don't push for more.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: 5 points to Gryffindor.  
  
RON: (to Dumbledore) Is your math getting bad, sir? He took 10 points off.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (kindly) No, Mr. Weasley. I believe 5 were deserved.  
**  
Ron and Harry just shrug. Snape looks awfully smug.**  
_  
Harry goes into room, closes door and takes off cloak. Mirror of Erised is in corner. Harry walks up to it and sees his parents come into view.  
  
_MALFOY: Oh good God, Potter, you're not going to cry are you?  
  
HARRY: (sniffing) No, shut up Malfoy.  
  
**Dumbledore hands Harry a tissue. Harry mutters some thanks and dabs at his eyes. Snape's eyes are brimming with tears when he sees Lily in the Mirror of Erised. Apparently, he's had some hidden emotions for her all these years. He looks away, across the isle, wiping his eyes hastily. He cannot let anyone find out his secret. Not now. Not ever.  
  
Hermione is leaning out of her seat, staring at the screen.   
  
**HERMIONE: (about mirror.) That IS rather neat, isn't it? I wish I had seen it.**_  
_  
**_Harry throws off Ron's covers.   
  
Harry: Ron, Ron, get up Ron! Get out of bed!_  
  
MALFOY: (imitating) Get up, Weasley! Come quick and see my dead parents!  
  
McGONAGALL: (sternly) Malfoy.....  
  
_Back in room with Mirror of Erised.  
  
Harry: Stand there, look in it properly. That's my da----  
  
Ron: That's me! I'm Head Boy...  
  
Harry looks baffled._  
  
MALFOY: Now that is more like it! That's how you normally look. Completely clueless and lost._  
  
Ron: I look good!_  
  
RON: (nodding approval) Yes I do!  
  
_Harry is sitting in front of mirror. Dumbledore enters. Goes through whole thing about what the mirror shows you.  
  
_MALFOY: Can I have a look at that mirror, Professor? I think that my deepest, most desperate desire is to see Potter fall off his broom and get injured so badly that he can no longer play Quidditch.  
  
McGONAGALL: 10 points, Malfoy.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: The mirror is no longer around, Mr. Malfoy.   
  
HARRY: That would be the only way you'd ever win at Quidditch, Malfoy, if I weren't playing.  
  
MALFOY: Don't go getting a swelled head, Potter. (looks back at his head) Oh, too late.  
_  
Dumbledore: The mirror will be moved to a new location, Harry. I do not want you going to look for it. It does not do well to dwell on dreams.  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: (to McGonagall) Am I really that wise?  
  
McGONAGALL: (shocked) Er---yes, Headmaster.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (looking quite pleased with himself) Hmmmm.  
_  
Hermione: I had you looking in the wrong section! I checked this out ages ago for a bit of light reading!  
  
Ron: That's light?  
  
Hermione shoots him a look.   
  
_HERMIONE: That is light. You should see my heavy reading.  
  
MALFOY: Can you carry it on a broom?  
  
HERMOINE: (confused) What?  
  
MALFOY: I was just wondering how heavy is heavy.  
  
HERMIONE: Well, I can't hold it. I got it out of the library, but I had to put a charm on it so it would follow along behind me. It's rather large and---why am I telling you?  
  
MALFOY: Because I asked._  
  
Hermione: Of course! Nickolas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: You really are very wise, Miss Granger.  
  
HERMIONE: (blushing) Thank you, Professor._  
  
Hermione: Honestly! Don't you two read?   
  
_RON: No.  
  
HARRY: Not as much as you.  
  
RON: We have other things to occupy our time with.  
  
HARRY: Like insulting Malfoy and his beaver teeth.  
  
MALFOY: I have many good comebacks for that Potter, but if I swear I'll be made to leave. Then I won't see you get killed in the end.  
  
HARRY: I don't die yet.  
  
MALFOY: (sadly) Too bad. Does Granger?  
  
HERMIONE: (surprised) No.  
  
MALFOY: Oh. Good.  
  
**Harry just shakes his head at him and goes back to the movie.**_  
  
Hermoine: ....The Philosopher's Stone also produces the elixer of life which will make the drinker immortal.  
  
Ron: Immortal?  
  
Hermione: It means you'll never die.  
  
Ron: I know what it means!  
  
Harry: shhhh.  
  
_RON: Did you just shush me!?  
  
HARRY: I didn't do it in real life.  
  
RON: (remembering) Oh. Right. Well, little Danny Radcliffe just shushed me.  
  
HERMOINE: Actually it's DANIEL and he didn't shush YOU. He shushed Rupert Grint.  
  
RON: My name is Rupert Grint?  
  
MALFOY: (laughing.) Your name is Ron Weasley.  
  
RON: (getting frustrated) I know THAT! I meant that the actor's name was Rupert Grint.  
  
HERMIONE: Yes, his name is Rupert Grint.  
  
_Hermione: That's what's under the trap door. That's what Fluffy's guarding. That's what Snape wants. The Philosopher's Stone.  
  
_SNAPE: I didn't want it. I should take off points for that.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Severus. Bygones.  
  
HERMOINE: We didn't know that at the time, Professor.  
  
SNAPE: I should still take points.  
  
McGONAGALL: Then I'm taking points for Malfoy saying ass back when Longbottom fell.  
  
SNAPE: That was on screen. Malfoy didn't say that. SCREEN Malfoy said that.  
  
McGONAGALL: Don't push me, Severus.  
  
SNAPE: (giving in) Fine, Minerva. I won't take points._  
_  
_Trio: (banging on Hagrid's door) HAGRID!  
  
Hagrid: (opens door) Sorry, don't mean to be rude but I'm in no fit state to entertain today. (shuts door)  
  
Trio: We know about the Philosopher's Stone!  
  
Hagrid: Oh. (Lets them in)  
  
_MALFOY: Is this the dragon part? When do I come in?  
  
HERMIONE: You'll be there in about 3 to 5 minutes.  
  
MALFOY: (looks at her with mild interest) You know my scenes by heart do you, Granger?  
  
HERMIONE: No, I know the book by heart. And if you'll remember, I did LIVE this just like you did.  
  
McGONAGALL: Mr. Malfoy, kindly stop accosting Miss Granger.  
  
MALFOY: (lowly, so only Hermione can hear) Only when she admits her true feelings for me.  
_  
Hermione: Of course! There are other things guarding the stone! Spells, enchantments. (looks oddly at Ron and Fang)  
  
Fang is licking Ron. Ron looks very grossed out.  
  
_MALFOY: Stupid dog. Surprised he didn't die from licking a Weasley.  
  
McGONAGALL: Mr. Malfoy, one more remark like that and you'll be out of this theatre.   
  
_Harry: Hagrid, what is that? (looking at large egg Hagrid has just taken out of fire.)  
_  
MALFOY: Almost time for me!   
  
PANSY: (who hasn't spoken in a while because she's been entranced by the characters on screen.) Yay!_  
  
Egg begins to crack. Parts of the egg spray all over. Little Norbert pops out, shaking egg off him.  
  
Hermione: Hagrid, is that a---dragon?  
  
Ron: That's not just a dragon. That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother, Charlie works with these in Romania.  
  
_MALFOY: That's the second time you've mentioned him.  
  
RON: (confused) So?  
  
MALFOY: Oh, I don't know. I'd just rather hear about myself._  
  
Hagrid: Oh look, bless 'im. He knows his Mommy. Hiya, Norbert!  
  
_MALFOY: (laughing) His mommy?_  
  
Harry: Norbert? (Ron and Harry look at each other, quietly laughing)  
  
Hagrid: O' course. He's gotta have a name, dunn' he?  
  
Norbert sprays fire all over Hagrid's beard, setting it on fire.  
_  
MALFOY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
**Even though Malfoy is laughing loudly, the rest of the theater is as well so his laugh isn't prominent.  
**  
_Hagrid puts out fire. Looks out window.   
  
Hagrid: Who's that?  
  
Malfoy's face is in the window, but he runs off.  
  
Harry: Malfoy.  
  
_MALFOY: That was it? I want more of me!  
  
PANSY: Draco, sweetie. You'll be going into the Forest in a minute.  
  
HARRY: (to no one inparticular) Why do they call it the Dark Forest?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I suppose they didn't want to say that the Forbidden Forest was strickly forbidden. At the begining, during my speech.  
  
MALFOY: (keenly) What did you say in real life?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I believe I said something along the lines of the forest on the grounds being forbidden.   
  
MALFOY: Oh.  
  
PANSY: He is so cute.  
  
HERMOINE: Totally.  
  
RON: Yeah, he is.  
  
HERMIONE & PANSY: (odd looks at Ron)   
  
PANSY: Is there something you're not telling us?  
  
RON: Pardon?  
  
HERMIONE: You just said Draco's cute.  
  
RON: (disgusted) I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT NORBERT!  
  
HERMIONE,PANSY,HARRY,DRACO,SNAPE: (laughing hysterically) HAHAHAHAHAHA.  
  
_McGonagall is scolding Harry, Ron and Hermione. Draco is standing by looking very smug.  
  
McGonagall: ...All four of you, detention.   
  
Malfoy: Excuse me, Professor but perhaps I heard you wrong. All FOUR of us?  
  
McGongall: You heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You'll be joining your classmates in detention. _  
  
MALFOY: That was really unfair.  
  
McGONAGALL: You were out of bed.  
  
MALFOY: Only because I wanted to catch them. Wait----that's not even how it happened in real life.  
  
HARRY: No, that's right. You told McGonagall we were taking the dragon up to the tower to give to Charlie. Then we left the invisibility cloak and Filch caught us. Ron wasn't even there.  
  
RON: Am I going into the Forest?  
  
HERMIONE: Looks that way.  
  
RON: Maybe I should just pop out and get another soda.  
  
HERMIONE: Ron, sit down. It's not that bad. It's fake, after all. Plus, you have a whole one still.  
  
HARRY: Hermione, it's not fake. It's real.  
  
HERMIONE: Well. (waves hand) It doesn't matter.  
  
_Hagrid: Dumbledore sent Norbert to Romania, to live in a colony.  
  
Hermione: Well that's good, isn't it?  
  
Hagrid: But what if he doesn't like it!?_  
  
MALFOY: What a baby.  
  
_Filch: (rolls eyes) Oh pull yourself together, man. You're going into the Forest. Got to have your wits about you._  
_  
Malfoy: The Forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go into the Forest! There are --- (werewolf sound from forest) werewolves.  
  
_HARRY: I think Malfoy's going to pee his pants again.  
  
RON: (laughing.) Yup.  
_  
Filch: Nighty night._  
  
RON: I don't like this. I wasn't supposed to go into the Forest. Are they going to kill me off?  
  
HERMIONE: No! You still have to do the Chess Scene.  
  
RON: Phew.  
  
_Hagrid: Unicorn's been badly hurt by summat. We've got to find the poor beast. Ron and Hermione, you'll go with me.  
  
Ron: (gulping) Okay._  
  
MALFOY: (laughing) Maybe Weasley will pee his pants!  
_  
Hagrid: Harry you'll go with Malfoy.  
  
Harry nods bravely.   
  
_HARRY: Where's Neville?  
  
RON: I think I'm Neville.  
  
MALFOY: HAHA! Weasley's Longbottom! Haha!  
  
RON: Shut up, Malfoy._  
  
Hagrid: (in answer to Malfoy wanting to take Fang) Fine, but he's a coward.  
  
Fang makes cowardly sounds.  
_  
MALFOY: That dog really is a coward.  
_  
Malfoy and Harry are walking through the woods. Malfoy is complaining that he is doing servant's work. He is holding a lantern high in the air.  
  
Harry: If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd think you were scared.  
  
Malfoy: Scared, Potter? I'm not scared. (Scoffs) Scared.  
  
_HARRY: You might want to close your eyes, Ron. The unicorn's coming up.  
  
RON: And ----You Know Who?  
  
HARRY: Yes.  
  
RON: (puts hands over eyes) Tell me when it's over.  
  
MALFOY: (sounding mean, but also scared) You big baby._  
****_   
Malfoy doesn't seem to want to relive this part...but he sits still. Pansy has now grabbed onto his arm, her nails digging into him. Everyone sits in complete silence through this part. Hermione is still at the edge of her seat, her soda in one clutched hand.  
_  
Scary music erupts as the hooded figure (unicorn blood dripping from his mouth) advances on Harry. Harry backs back, falls over.****_  
  
HERMIONE: (whispers) Oh no. Get up and run Daniel!**  
  
Hermione leans further forward so her soda is now touching the side of Malfoy's head. He turns around as Firenze beats the hooded figure off. Hermoine looses her soda and it pours all over Malfoy.  
  
**MALFOY: Granger!  
  
HERMIONE: I'm sorry! **  
  
Dumbledore conjures up some towels and gives them to Malfoy. Malfoy realizes then that he can just dry off with a spell, so he does that and sits back down again. He's still picking ice out of his shirt, though.  
**  
HARRY: The hooded figure....  
  
RON: (who was watching the whole time between his hands) Quirrell.  
  
HARRY: Right, well I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Anyway, he didn't fly off like that. He just...sort of ran off. Plus, I got on Firenze's back and he got me to Hagrid. And where are Bane and Ronan?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (logically) If they added everything, Harry, this would be a four hour film._  
  
Hermione: As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry, Voldemort can't touch you.  
  
_RON: But Dumbledore's leaving!  
  
HARRY: We know that, Ron.  
  
RON: (sitting back in his seat feeling like an idiot.) Sorry._  
  
Hermione, Harry and Ron are walking out of the castle. Harry stops when he sees Hagrid playing a flute in front of his house.  
  
_HARRY: When has Hagrid every played the flute?  
  
HERMOINE: I don't know.  
  
RON: Curious.  
  
HARRY: Curious. (laughs.) What's gotten into you?  
  
RON: (angrily) Nothing, I'm just enjoying the film.  
  
_Harry: Why didn't I see it before?   
  
Harry runs toward Hagrid, Hermione and Ron behind him.  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: Is this when he tells you about Fluffy and music putting him to sleep?  
  
HARRY,RON,HERMIONE: Yes.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Poor guy was all shaken up about that.  
  
_Hagrid: I shouldn't have told you that._  
  
MALFOY: (mumbling) Great big lump.  
  
_Harry, Ron and Hermoine are running into Professor McGonagall's classroom.  
  
Harry: We need to see Professor Dumbledore._  
  
HERMIONE: That ghost wasn't there when we went in.  
  
RON: Who cares?  
  
_McGONAGALL: Professor Dumbledore has just gotten a very urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic. He's just gone off to London.   
_  
RON: Ministry. Ha. Quirrell sent it.  
  
HARRY: We know, Ron.  
  
MALFOY: You three get yourselves into so much trouble. I'm really surprised you're all still alive. (Shakes his head) Pure dumb luck.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I'm sure they'll take that as a compliment, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
_Snape: ...they might think you're....up to something._  
  
HERMIONE: (overly excited.) We're going down the trap door!  
_  
Harry: We go down the trap door.....tonight.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_A/N: This one's short, but that's because the next chapter is really long.  
  
The whole Ron saying Draco's cute, but meaning Norbert is an idea from a reviewer that I just had to add in. Also added in the Weasley sweater bit because of her too. Thanks Trista_Setsuna!!_  
  
_COMING ATTRACTIONS:  
Harry, Ron and Hermione go down the trap door.  
Ron critiques the Chess Scene.  
Harry critiques the Key Scene.  
Snape is livid, but I won't tell you why.  
Everyone comes face to face with screen Voldemort.  
Someone passes out from fright.  
**  
Thanks to the Reviewers:**  
_  
_nagi - The audience members are really patient, yeah, but it's because they are all as excited to see the movie as the HP characters. I've seen the movie 4 times so far, lol. Does it show?  
  
Zahrah Radcliffe - Thank you!  
  
lionheartbeater88 - Thanks! _  
  
_Relaxing Pikachu - Thanks! I don't know if they do have that many to loose, but it's humor, I made it up to be funny. Hermione is going to be very angry about her scene not being in the movie. So mad, in fact that...well, I won't say. Let's just say that Draco doesn't come out of the movie in very good shape.  
  
Celia - I love Sean Biggerstaff too, but who doesn't? Thanks for the review!_  
  
  
  
  
_


	4. The End

Muggle Movies****  


  
_Ron: Trevor. You shouldn't be here.  
  
Neville: (appearing from chair) Neither should you. You're going out again, aren't you?  
  
_MALFOY: Stupid toad. Where am I now?  
  
HERMIONE: You won't be in it 'til the end now.  
  
MALFOY: (sadly) Oh. (perking up) Will you be in it?  
  
HERMIONE: Yes, of course. My moment to shine is coming up. During the Devil's Snare and Potions chamber.  
  
MALFOY: (confused, obviously has no idea what she is talking about) Oh. Okay.**  
**  
_Neville:.....I'll fight you.  
  
_MALFOY: (snickering) Haha. Yeah right. Longbottom stop the Almighty Potter trio.  
  
_Hermione: I'm really sorry about this, Neville. Pertrificus Totalus._  
_  
Neville goes stiff as a board and falls down.  
_  
MALFOY: Ouch.  
  
_Ron: You're really scary, you know that? Brilliant, but scary._  
  
MALFOY: How very true, Weasley.  
  
HERMIONE: (blushing) Thank you.  
  
MALFOY: Don't mention it.  
  
_Ron: It's for your own good, you know._  
  
RON: I don't think I said that.  
  
HARRY: Shhhhh.  
  
MALFOY: It IS for his own good.  
  
HARRY: Shhhhh.  
  
_Hermione: (walking with H & R in invisibility cloak) Ouch! That's my foot!  
  
_MALFOY: Weasley! Get off her foot!  
  
RON: (shaking head and giving him odd look) I'm not on her foot.  
  
_Hermione: Alohomora.  
  
_MALFOY: Can you teach me that, Granger?  
  
HERMIONE: (surprised) Sure.  
  
_Three of them step into Fluffy's 'chamber'. Harp is playing, Fluffy is fast asleep.  
  
Someone (don't remember who): He's snoring.  
  
Invisibility cloack is thrown off them with burst of Fluffy's snore. Trio are now fully visible.  
  
Hermione: Snape must have put a spell on the harp.  
  
_SNAPE: I did no such thing!  
  
HERMIONE: It wasn't even a harp! Well, it was, but the harp was on the ground. It wasn't playing. Harry had to play the flute to get him to sleep._  
  
Harry: We've got to move his paw.  
  
_MALFOY: (sarcastically) Good one, Potter.**  
  
**_Ron, Harry and Hermione move Fluffy's paw from the trap door. Then pull it open.  
  
The three of them peer down it but see nothing because it is very dark.  
  
_MALFOY: It's really quiet. All of a sudden._  
  
Fluffy's eye opens and it looks around.  
  
_MALFOY: Oh no! Jump, Granger! Jump!  
  
HERMIONE: I'm going to! Quiet down!  
  
__They all jump, just in time. Ron is last to land. On the Devil's Snare.   
  
Ron: Lucky this plant thing's here, really.  
  
MALFOY: Lucky!? Ha!  
  
HARRY: The Devil's Snare didn't really look like that.  
  
HERMIONE: It did...mostly.  
  
_Devil's Snare starts to coil around them. Harry and Ron are fighting it....well trying to anyway.  
  
Hermione: I know what this is! It's Devil's Snare!  
  
_HERMOINE: Yes, me! Now conjure some fire and get outta there!  
**  
Ron is now jumping up and down in his seat again. He is looking anxious.  
  
**HERMIONE: But there's no wood!  
  
RON: Are you a witch or not!?  
  
HERMIONE: Oh right!  
  
MALFOY: Be quiet! You're not even saying that.  
  
RON: WHAT? But that's my best line! They cut it?!  
  
_Hermione gives them a sorrowfull look and disappears, going downward.  
  
Ron: HERMIONE!  
  
_MALFOY: (quietly) Oh no.  
  
_Harry stops moving and he too is dropped down below.  
  
Ron: HARRY! (Devil's Snare coils around his mouth. His shouts are muffled)  
  
Hermione: (to Harry, down below Ron) He's not relaxing is he?  
  
_HERMIONE: (baffled) Relaxing? What?_  
  
Harry: Apparantly not.  
  
Hermione: I remember reading about this in Herbology! Devil's Snare...Devil's Snare is not so much fun....but it crumbles in the sun! (I know this line is wrong, but I can't remember it word for word) Devil's Snare hates sun light! (some spell I can't remember)   
  
Ron falls down and lands beside Harry.  
  
_HERMIONE: (livid) I didn't say anything about it not liking sun! It doesn't like FIRE! FIRE!!  
  
_Ron: Lucky we didn't panic._  
  
MALFOY: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! You did panic, Weasley!  
  
HARRY: It's meant to be an ironic statement, Malfoy._  
  
Harry: Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology.  
_  
MALFOY: What's next?  
  
HARRY: A bit keen, aren't you?  
  
MALFOY: You're not? Don't you think Granger's hot?  
  
HARRY: Screen Hermione or real Hermione.  
  
MALFOY: (looks back and forth between screen and Hermione) Both.  
  
HARRY: No comment.  
  
RON: I agree with Malfoy. (blushes very red)  
  
McGONAGALL & SNAPE: What?  
  
MALFOY: (nonchalantly) He said he agreed with me.  
  
SNAPE: Are you all right, Weasley?  
  
RON: (surprised he's asking) Yes, I'm fine.  
  
_Flying Key Chamber. Keys are buzzing all around.  
  
Hermione: Funny, I've never seen birds like these before. (Birds, to me, sounds like bugs -when she says it- but I'm pretty sure it's birds.)  
  
Harry: Those aren't birds. They're keys.  
_  
MALFOY: Try Alohomora on the door, Granger!_  
  
Ron tries Alohomora on the door.  
  
_MALFOY: (angrily, to real Ron) I said Granger!  
  
RON: (puts his hands in the air) I'm sorry! It wasn't me! It was that Rupert fellow!  
  
HERMIONE: (off handedly) Grint. Rupert Grint.  
  
HARRY: Bond. James Bond  
**  
Hermoine and Harry laugh quietly. Dumbledore chuckles.**  
  
MALFOY: What?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Maybe Miss Granger's right. Maybe you should all take Muggle Studies.  
  
SNAPE: (to Dumbledore) That joke is getting very old. (to Harry) Your's too.  
  
_Harry: (running hand along broom) It's too easy.  
  
_MALFOY: It DOES look rather easy.  
  
HARRY: That's not how it happened. We all got brooms and we took off after a brass one...not a rusted one.  
  
_Keys begin to attack Harry as he gets on broom._  
  
HARRY: Those things are attacking me! They didn't do that!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: You better add that to your essay, Harry.  
  
HARRY: (to Hermione) Can I borrow a piece of parchment?  
  
HERMIONE: (clutching onto her notebook like a lifeline) No.   
(A/N: I realize that the Hogwarts crew do not have notebooks, but for the purpose of this, they do.)  
  
**Harry goes back to the movie, but not before catching a glimpse of the cover of Hermione's notebook. It was filled with black ink on every inch. It says things like 'HG + SB' and 'HG + DM'.  
  
Harry taps Malfoy on the shoulder. Malfoy turns to look at him as screen Harry throws Hermione the key.  
  
**HARRY: I think you were right about her, Malfoy. She's got the hots for you.  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) Excellent.  
  
HERMOINE: (hasn't been listening to them) What happened the troll?  
  
MALFOY: You got him a while ago.  
  
HERMOINE: No, the troll in the chamber. That was already knocked out.  
  
HARRY: Must have cut it.  
  
HERMIONE: (shrugs) Oh.  
  
RON: SHHHHHH! The chess scene! My scene!  
  
_Ron: ....I'll be a knight.  
  
_MALFOY: (sounding like a girl) Oh, a brave knight!   
  
RON: Shut up, Malfoy. This is MY moment. You had your's.  
  
MALFOY: When?  
  
RON: Oh I don't know. Just stuff it.  
  
_Hermione: You don't think this will be like real wizard's chess. Do you?  
  
Ron sends a chess piece to a square where it is beaten to a pulp. (A/N: I am not a chess player, so I don't pretend to know any of these chess terms, lol)  
  
Ron: Yes, Hermione. I think it'll be exactly like Wizard's chess._  
  
RON: It was too. Very scary.  
  
MALFOY: (excited) Are you going to pee your pants?  
  
RON: No.  
  
MALFOY: Too bad. (looking around at the pieces) Those things are scary looking.  
  
HARRY: Very.  
  
_A bunch of pieces get killed and pretty soon Harry is left looking around and coming to his senses.  
  
Harry: No!  
  
Ron: You understand, Harry, that when I make MY move, the Queen will take me.  
  
Hermione: What's going on?  
  
Harry: He's going to sacrifice himself.  
  
Hermione: No, you can't!_  
__  
Ron: Do you want to stop Snape getting the stone or not? It's you that has to go on, Harry. Not me, not Hermione....YOU. When I make my move, it'll leave you free to check the king.  
__(says Knight to E5 or something like that)  
  
HERMIONE: I wish they'd have changed this. I don't want to see Ron get killed.  
  
MALFOY: (getting excited at the prospect of a death) He gets killed?  
  
HERMOINE: Well....no.  
  
MALFOY: (sadly) Oh.  
  
**Hermione buries her head in Harry's shoulder as Ron bravely moves himself forward on the screen.  
  
**MALFOY: Granger....(hisses) Granger!  
  
HERMOINE: (peeking up from Harry's shirt) What?  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) You can come sit in my lap. I'll comfort you.  
  
HERMOINE: (Thinks about this.) No thanks. Some other time. (buries head in Harry's shirt again.)  
  
__Whatever that chess piece is, charges it's thing (sword maybe) at Ron's knight and Ron falls.  
  
Hermione screams and tries to move towards him.  
  
Harry: No! Stay where you are! Remember, we're still playing.  
  
Hermione nodds and gets back in her place.  
  
HARRY: Was I that mean to you?  
  
HERMIONE: I really don't remember. (looks back at screen.)  
  
RON: Did it look that bad? I look like I'm dead.  
  
HERMIONE: It was worse.  
  
RON: Well, at least I was brave. (puffs out his chest pompously) I'm proud of myself.  
  
MALFOY: Oh, put a cork in it, Weasley.  
  
HERMOINE: (anxiously) Here comes my greatest scene!  
  
SNAPE: And my greatest logic problem ever!  
  
_Harry: You stay here and help Ron. Then you two go up to the owlery and send an owl to Dumbledore. Ron's right. I have to go ahead, alone.  
  
_HERMIONE: What are you talking about? We haven't done the Potions!_  
  
Hermione: You'll be fine. You're a great wizard, Harry.  
  
_HERMIONE: What am I saying?! This is too early! Go into the next chamber!_  
  
Harry: Not as good as you.  
  
Hermione: (laughs a little) Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things. Like friendship and bravery.  
_  
HERMIONE: (slowly and quietly) We don't say that stuff 'til after the Potions.  
  
HARRY: (getting worried) Yeah.....  
  
__Hermione: And Harry? Just be careful.  
  
HERMOINE: NO ME! Get up and go into the next chamber! It's time to show how clever you really are! Go defeat Snape's logic problem!  
  
_Harry is walking slowly into the next chamber. Weird music begins to play. Whispers can be heard.  
  
_HERMOINE: (getting really angry) Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Where is my scene! They cut my scene!  
  
SNAPE: (sitting up taller) They cut my logic!!! They cut my logic!!!!  
  
HERMIONE: (looking at Snape) I'm leaving! I'm not standing for this! They just can't CUT MY SCENE! That was my BEST WORK!  
  
SNAPE: Well, how do you think I feel? That showed how really logical I am! No one will know, now!  
  
HERMOINE: No one will know how clever I was in that scene. I did wonderfully! (getting angrier) Those---those-----  
  
MALFOY: Hermione? (notice he called her by her name) Calm down....  
  
HERMIONE: CALM DOWN! THEY DIDN'T CUT YOUR SCENE!  
  
**Hermione's face is really red. She stands up and goes into the isle. No one is paying attention to what's going on. They are all watching the screen. Rest of the audience included.  
  
**HERMIONE: I'm writing to this....this...FILM!  
**  
Suddenly Hermione's face gets really white. She falls to the ground in a crumpled heap. Malfoy rushes to her, picks her up and carries her out of the theater.  
  
**RON: Is she all right?  
  
HARRY: Yeah, she's fine. She'll be back.  
  
RON: Well, what happened to her?  
  
HARRY: (shrugging) I don't know. Passed out from all the anger I suppose.  
  
_Harry: You.  
  
Quirrell: Yes, me.  
  
Harry: But---Snape---  
  
Quirrell: Yes, he does seem the type, doesn't he?  
  
Harry: He was trying to kill me....  
  
Quirrell: No, dear boy, I tried to kill you! And I would have succeeded it he hadn't been muttering his counter curse!  
  
_RON: He's scary.  
  
HARRY: You're telling me?  
  
RON: (shrugs) Nevermind.  
  
_Voldemort's Voice: Use the boy!  
  
Quirrell: Come here, POTTER!  
  
Harry steps forward looking on the verge of passing out.  
  
Quirrell: What do you see?  
  
Harry is watching himself in the mirror. Harry's mirror self winks at him as the stone drops into his pocket.   
  
Harry: I see me....I've won the Quidditch Cup.   
  
Voldemort's Voice: He lies!  
  
Quirrell: Tell the truth!  
  
Voldemort's Voice: Let me speak to him.  
  
Quirrell: No, Master! You are not strong enough!  
  
Voldemort: I have enough strength...for this.  
  
Quirrell begins to unravel his turban. Harry is looking around, scared.  
  
_DUMBLEDORE: Hang in there, Mr. Weasley.  
  
**Ron has gone rather green and is sitting very low in his seat.**  
**  
**_Volemort's face protrudes from Quirrell's head._  
**  
**RON: (scared and surprised) Voldemort! **  
  
Ron sinks down into his seat, onto the floor. He has passed out.  
  
Dumbledore, keen to see the rest of the movie, conjures a nice comfy pillow for Ron's head to rest on. Ron has enough room to lay because the people who HAD been sitting next to him, moved to the other side of the theater way back at the Quidditch match. Harry seems undisturbed by Ron being on the ground. Snape, Pansy and McGonagall have not witnessed anything. They are giving all their attention to the movie.  
  
**_Voldemort: Harry...Potter.  
  
Harry: (disbelieving) Voldemort?  
  
Voldemort: (hissing type voice) Yes.  
  
****_Malfoy and Hermione return. She is holding onto his hand and muttering something under her breath.  
  
HERMIONE: My scene...cut....my scene, my greatest scene cut......**  
  
Malfoy sits in Hermione's vacated seat, careful to tread only a little on Ron's face as he sits. Hermoine sits in his lap, her head on his shoulder.  
**  
PANSY: (noticing they're back.) Hermione! It's Sean!**  
  
Hermione's head snaps up.  
  
**HERMOINE: (seeing screen.) Voldemort!?  
  
PANSY: Draco, what is she doing on your lap!?  
  
MALFOY: (shrugs, puts arm around Hermione.) She might pass out again.  
  
PANSY: So let her!  
  
MALFOY: Can't. The Weasle is on the floor. (to Harry) Did he pass out?  
  
HARRY: (looken very shaken) Yes, when Voldemort's head came out of Quirrell.  
  
MALFOY: (shocked) What?  
  
HERMIONE: Just watch, Drac!  
  
_Harry's parents's faces vanish from the Mirror of Erised._  
  
SNAPE: (quietly, to himself) No, let me see more. I want to see her again...just once....(sees that Harry is trying to hear him. He stops muttering and stares at the screen with an icey expression on his face._  
  
Harry: Liar!!!  
_  
DUMBLEDORE: Well chosen words, Harry.  
  
HARRY: I don't even remember him offering to help me get my parents back.  
  
HERMIONE: I don't think he did.  
  
HARRY: (to Hermione) Are you all right now?  
  
HERMIONE: (looks at Draco.) Yes.  
  
HARRY: (gives her odd look and turns back to screen.) Oookayyy.  
  
_Harry is being choked by Quirrell. He is reaching for the stone._  
  
McGONAGALL: Get the stone, Potter! Reach!  
  
Harry puts hand on Quirrell's hand, hoping to pry him off. Quirrell backs away, in shock, holding his hand. It begins to crumble.  
  
Quirrell: What is this magic?  
  
HARRY: (shaking head) He never said that. His face didn't crumble like that either. He got red boils. I think. I passed out so I can't remember correctly.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (in a fatherly voice.) Understandable.  
  
_Harry springs up and puts his hands on Quirrell's face. Quirrell's face crumbles before their eyes._  
  
HERMIONE: Ewwww! (buries head in Malfoy's shoulder.)  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) I'll tell you when it's over.  
  
_Harry picks up stone. Voldemort raises from Quirrell's ashes._  
  
HARRY: (eyes very wide with shock) Oh my God, that never happenened. Or maybe it did. I WAS passed out by then I think.  
  
_Harry: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_  
  
_Voldemort's 'wispy' self goes through Harry. Harry falls, the stone still in his bloody hand.  
  
_HERMIONE: That was a really good scream. Good acting, Daniel._  
  
_MALFOY: Any old git can scream.  
  
**Hermione ignores him. She seems to be coming back to her senses.  
**_  
Harry wakes up in hospital wing and puts his glasses on, smiling.  
  
_MALFOY: (being Harry) I'm alive! And I've got sweets!!!!! Wooo!!! I should kill Voldemort more often!  
  
HARRY: (glares) You're just jealous.  
  
**Ron stirs and awakes, slipping into his seat looking very embarrassed.**  
  
RON: You're alive! (hugs Harry) I'm so glad!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Are you all right, Mr. Weasley?  
  
RON: (blushing) Yes, thanks.  
  
_Dumbledore: What happened between you and Professor Quirrell in the dungeons is a complete secret...so natrually the whole school knows._  
  
MALFOY: (chuckling) That was a good line, sir.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Thank you.  
  
HERMIONE: What happened to Quirrell?  
  
HARRY: You know, I told you and you're read the books.   
  
HERMIONE: But what happened in the MOVIE?  
  
HARRY: (sighing) Quirrell's face got all crumbly when I touched him and he died...going into ashes. Then Voldemort rose from the ashes----  
  
RON: (hissing) Don't say the name!  
  
MALFOY: Shut up, Weasley. I want to hear this.  
  
HARRY: ---and he charged me as a whispy sort of smoke thing. I screamed and fell and he disappeared. Then I woke up.  
  
MALFOY: It was a dream?  
  
HARRY: No, I was unconscious and then I woke up in the hospital wing.  
  
MALFOY: (sadly) Oh.  
  
HERMIONE: Was my scene ever on?  
  
HARRY: Er----no. Sorry.  
  
HERMIONE: (shrugging and standing up) That's okay. Malfoy, get up and go back to your seat.  
  
MALFOY: (looking at her with a pained expression on his face.) But I thought you liked me?  
  
HERMIONE: (blushing) No, move.  
  
MALFOY: (angrily, turning back to his old self) Granger!  
  
HERMIONE: MOVE.  
  
SNAPE: Move, Malfoy.  
  
_Dumbledore: (at end of year feast) Yes, well done, Slytherin. Well done Slytherin.****_  
  
MALFOY: Old coot. (sits in seat sulkilly. Pansy wraps her arms around him.)  
  
_Dumbledore: However. I have some last minute points to award.  
  
_MALFOY: I HATE this part.  
  
RON: SHHHHHHHH!  
  
_Dumbledore: To Miss Hermione Granger for cleverness while under pressure. I award 50 points to Gryffindor.(A/N: I don't remember this part exactly so most of it is wrong, but I don't care.)  
  
Hermoine smiles happily.  
  
_MALFOY: You are hot, Granger.   
  
HERMIONE: (sighing) Oh all right! You are too! You happy?  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) Very.   
  
PANSY: There's Sean!!!  
  
HERMIONE: WHERE?  
  
PANSY: THERE!  
  
HERMOINE: MISSED HIM!   
  
PANSY: Too bad!  
  
_Dumbledore: To Mr. Ronald Weasley for the best played game of Chess Hogwarts has seen in many years. 50 points.  
  
Ron: (mouthing) Me?  
  
Harry: (mouthing back) You!_  
  
MALFOY: Geeks.  
_  
Dumbledore: And to Mr. Harry Potter....._  
  
MALFOY: Here it comes.  
  
HERMIONE: Be quiet, Drac! You're going to be on in a second!  
  
MALFOY: I am! Woo!  
  
_Dumbledore: I award Gryffindor House 60 points.  
  
Hermione: (whispering) We're tied with Slytherin!  
  
Fred and George look very surprised.  
  
_MALFOY: Not much for math, your brothers, eh, Weasley?  
  
RON: Oh, sod off.  
  
_Dumbledore: Finally, to Mr. Neville Longbottom for it takes a lot of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends. I award Gryffindor House 10 points.  
  
Neville is speechless with joy.  
  
_MALFOY: You know, he doesn't look much like Longbottom.  
  
HERMIONE: No, not really.  
  
_Dumbledore: So, we need a change of decoration.   
  
He claps his hands and green and silver Slytherin flags change to red and gold Gryffindor flags.  
  
Malfoy throws down his hat as the rest of the students (minus rest of Slytherins) throw their's into the air.  
_  
RON: Poor little Malfoy. He lost...too, too bad.  
  
HARRY: We never threw our hats.  
  
HERMIONE: It doesn't matter. We won!  
  
MALFOY: (sighing) What was the point of us reliving the horrible memory of loosing?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (wisely) You seem to have made some friends out of it, Mr. Malfoy. (he glances at Hermione who blushes)  
  
_Hagrid: Thought you'd get away without saying goodbye, eh?  
  
Reaches into pocket and extracts large photo album. Hands it to Harry. Harry opens it and sees a picture of his parents and him as a baby. It is snowing and his parents are smiling. He is smiling too.   
  
****_Snape, in spite of himself, smiles happily at the image of Lily on the screen. She looks so happy. Tears well up in his eyes again but he does not let them fall. He wonders who this actress is that plays her. They look so much alike it's scary._  
  
Harry: (with sort of tears in his eyes) Thanks, Hagrid._  
  
MALFOY: Oh no, Potter! Don't cry!  
  
_Harry and Hagrid hug. Harry makes his way back to Ron and Hermione._  
  
_Hermione: It seems odd to be going home, doesn't it?  
  
Harry: I'm not going home. Not really.  
  
Harry gets on the train, shutting door behind him.   
  
Hagrid waves goodbye to him. Harry waves from window._  
  
MALFOY: (pretending to cry) How sweet! (wipes pretend tears from eyes) You were wonderful, Potter!  
  
**Lights in theater go up and people start to leave. The Hogwarts crew stays put.**  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Well?  
  
RON: It was great! I was wonderful! (reminicent) The chess scene was wicked!  
  
HARRY: (nodding) It was good. There were only a few things I would have changed.  
  
HERMIONE: LIKE MY SCENE!  
  
MALFOY: Just write to them and complain. Or send a Howler. That'll get their attention.  
  
SNAPE: I liked it.  
  
McGONAGALL: (clearly shocked) You did?  
  
SNAPE: I was rather good and it was nice to see how Potter's been breaking rules all his life.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (fondly) Oh, Severus. (chuckles) Minerva?  
  
McGONAGALL: It was good.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Miss Granger? Apart from your scene being cut, do you think they left anything else out?  
  
HERMIONE: No, not really. It was very good. Most of it.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Miss Parkinson?  
  
PANSY: I wasn't in it.  
  
HARRY: We didn't have anything to do with you first year.  
  
PANSY: Oh. Well, I liked Draco's parts.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Malfoy? What did you think?  
  
MALFOY: (reluctantly) It was okay. I liked Granger's parts. That actron or whatever it's called was good.  
  
HERMIONE: (angrily) If it were really ME up there, you wouldn't have liked it? It's ACTRESS by the way.  
  
MALFOY: (shrugs) I don't know, Granger. I suppose I would have liked it more.  
  
HERMIONE: (blushes and grins) Oh.  
  
**Cleaning crew comes in with brooms. The rest of the audience has vacated but not before shooting the HP crew nasty looks as they passed. Malfoy did his wonderful sneer at every single one of them.**  
  
MALFOY: (motioning towards a broom nearby which was being held by a girl no older than 18. She was staring at him with great interest.) Let's grab one of those and fly home.  
  
McGONAGALL: Those are Muggle brooms, Mr. Malfoy.  
  
**Everyone then stands up and they all follow Dumbledore out of the theater. **  
  
RON: (now out on the street and walking toward the portkey that got them there) Do you think they'll do the second year?  
  
HERMIONE: I hope so....but only as long Sean Biggerstaff is in it.  
  
PANSY: Ditto.  
  
MALFOY: What about me?  
  
HERMIONE: Tom Felton. It'll be good with Tom Felton.  
  
PANSY: Ditto.  
  
SNAPE: When should their essays be in, Professor?  
  
DUMBLEDORE: By the end of the week, I'd say.  
  
**Ron and Harry roll their eyes at each other. They know Hermione will insist they do their's the second they get back to the common room.  
  
A little girl and her mother pass by them. The mother gives Dumbledore an odd look (eyes lingering on his long beard) and the little girl squeals with delight.**  
  
GIRL: Harry Potter!  
  
MOTHER: No, honey. That can't be Harry Potter. He's fictional.  
  
**Malfoy laughs quietly. Harry shoots him a look.**  
  
MALFOY: So, Granger....want to discuss this further?  
  
HERMIONE: Discuss what further?  
  
MALFOY: What we were talking about in the bathroom after you passed out and I threw water on you.  
  
HERMIONE: Oh....(blushes)...that.  
  
MALFOY: (falls behind rest of group and stops Hermione) Yes....that.  
  
HERMIONE: (shrugs) We'll see.  
  
RON: (to Harry) What're they talking about?  
  
HARRY: I don't know Ron.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Hurry up, children!  
  
**They are now in an alley. Dumbledore had his forefinger on a battered looking grocery bag. Snape, McGonagall and Pansy were crowded around it as well.**  
  
HARRY: (looking at his watch) 3 seconds.  
  
**Harry, Ron, Hermione and Malfoy all put one finger on the bag and suddenly they vanish from the street. They land, rather roughly, in Dumbledore's office seconds later.  
  
**DUMBLEDORE: Well, that was fun. Everyone off to bed. You can tell your class mates about the movie in the morning. Off you go, now.  
  
**Hermione, Harry, Ron, Pansy and Malfoy exit.**  
  
SNAPE: (calling after them) Hand your essays into me by MONDAY! No later, Potter!!! Just because you're now known in the Muggle world, does not mean you are exempt from homework!!!  
  
HARRY: (sighing) Nothing ever changes does it.  
  
RON: (looking at Hermione and Malfoy who are talking in low voices) Some things do.  
  


The End.  


  
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Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know! If I've left a scene out that you really would like to see, email me or review and tell me. I'll do my best to add it in.  
  
Please don't flame me for not telling you what went on between Hermione and Malfoy in the bathroom. I've left it up to your imagination! But, just in case you're going to curse me or something, I'll put up two different senarios by next week as a last chapter to this. You can choose which one you like better :)  
  
**Thanks to the Reviewers:   
**  
Miriam - Thanks for all your comments! The students didn't bring parchment with them, just Hermione did. I should have said that probably, but I didn't. I actually didn't think about there being on one Quidditch game, but I'm going to add that in another chapter. The 'post movie' chapter later. Thanks for outlining the chess pieces. Snape said that the way he did because I wanted him to OOC in that particular part. I was going for the adolescent need to prove himself actually. Thanks about Harry getting 60 points, I thought he got 50. I agree completely about your Hermione/Draco thing. JKR will not get anyone into a big romance until 7th year at least. I know they can't apparate to Hogwarts. I think I actually said that in the first chapter. I sort of did that just because I thought it would be funny. I imagined, and I should have said, that they arranged Dumbledore's office to be a place of apparation for just that little bit. **  
  
**Ali, summersun, iamtheanonymous, Beth the Fox, and Harriet Weasley. Thanks for your reviews, guys!  
  
ender - I'm so glad you think that about my portraying Ron correctly. I was kind of afraid that they were all really out of character, but that was how I saw him too, reacting to the movie. Thanks for the review!  
  
Elizabeth - You're going a fifth! I'm jealous! I don't have a Snape addiction, I have an Oliver Wood addiction but I love everyone really lol. Thanks for the review!  
  
Asteria - Thanks for the suggestion. I may do that in the future.  
  
evvy - I don't drool over Draco either, but I just thought it would add a nice touch to this story, lol. I did comment on that scene, I just had to after you mentioned it because that is one of the best lines in the book! I was upset they cut the Potions scene too and so was Hermione in this fic. Thanks for the review!  
  
Constantine1453 - Thank you! I hope JKR would be proud!  
  
just1digigirl - Thanks! That's a HUGE compliment and I appreciate it! I'm glad this fic made your mood better!  
  
Lynx - Can you send me the address to your friend's site? I'd love to see it! I love the accent too, lol. :)  
  
Stefanie - That sounds just like what happened to me. I didn't whoop at Sean's name, but I quietly did so when he came on screen for the first time. And when he talked for the first time. The people I went with (different people each time I saw) pretended not to know me but I didn't care. Anyway, thanks for the review!  
  
Juliana Black - Thanks for the suggestions! I would have loved to make Harry and Draco friends but it's too OOC for Draco, so they're not. The kissing between Hr and D may end up here though.  
  



	5. Scenario 1

Muggle Movies  


Bathroom Scenario #1  
  
**Draco is running through the theater with a passed out Hermione in his arms.  
  
**MALFOY: (to concession person) Where's the loo?**  
  
The concession person points to Malfoy's left so he runs that way. The concession person gives Malfoy's retreating back an odd look.   
  
**MALFOY: (muttering) Where is it, where is it? Come on! Where is it!?  
  
**Malfoy stops outside two doors. One has a woman figure on it, the other a man.**  
  
MALFOY: Oh no. Which one?  
  
**He looks back in forth hoping for the answer to pop out at him. **  
  
MALFOY: (insanely muttering) If I go in the woman's, there are apt to be women in there. Then they will kick my butt if I happen to keep my eyes open. (he cringes) If I go in the men's Hermione may get an eyeful and pass out again. (he sighs) What's a wizard to do?  
  
**A man comes out of the man's bathroom and holds the door open for Draco.**  
  
MAN: There's no one in there.  
  
MALFOY: (looks inside) Thanks, dude!   
  
**Malfoy rushes inside and man closes door behind him.  
  
Malfoy looks around the bathroom quickly, his eyes scanning the floors, walls and stall doors.  
  
**MALFOY: (now very tired from lugging Hermione around) Where should I put her? This is certainly not sanitary. Perhaps I would have been better off in the woman's. I hear they've got couches in there. Hmmmm.**  
  
Malfoy continues to look around. He finally decides to sit her on the counter by the sink, after cleaning it of spilled water. He gently sets her head back against the wall. Malfoy grabs a paper towel, wets it and rings it out. Then he places it gently on her forehead.**  
**  
**HERMIONE: (weakly) Where am I?  
  
MALFOY: (relieved) In the men's bathroom.  
  
HERMIONE: (noticing Malfoy) AH! What are you doing here?  
  
MALFOY: I told you. It's the men's bathroom.  
  
HERMIONE: (looks around and makes face) Ewww. Why are we in here?  
  
MALFOY: You passed out.  
  
HERMIONE: Why?  
  
MALFOY: (recalling events and deciding it best not to mention the cause of her faint.) Er----you were completely entranced by my beauty and could no longer stand it. So you passed out.  
  
HERMIONE: (disbelieving) You're kidding.  
  
MALFOY: (shrugs) Nope. Look am me! I'm devilishly good looking.  
  
HERMIONE: No. Sean Biggerstaff is devilishly good looking!  
  
MALFOY: He is not. I'm way hotter than him.  
  
HERMIONE: Ha! In your dreams, Malfoy! Oh no wait! I'm missing the film! We have to go back!  
  
MALFOY: Okay, but let me help you to your seat. And it might be best if you sit in my lap in case it happens again. Since I'm your rescuer.  
  
HERMIONE: Didn't Ron or Harry try to save me?  
  
MALFOY: (laughing) Yeah, right. Boy Wonder and the Weasel. Potter was afraid to break a nail and Weasel was too busy admiring himself to notice.  
  
HERMIONE: (looking huffy) Well, let's go back anyway.  
  
MALFOY: And you can sit on my lap.  
  
HERMIONE: (looking him up and down.) Er---no thanks, Malfoy.  
  
MALFOY: (trying to find his wand in his Muggle clothes) Darn these pants! Where are the pockets!? (finally finds it in his pant leg, tucked into his sock.) Ah-ha! (waves it around a bit-a la swish and flick) Blah blah blah.  
  
HERMIONE: What are you doing?  
  
MALFOY: Stalling for time. I can't remember the spell I want to use on you to make you forget and make you drugged up so you want to sit with me.  
  
HERMIONE: Try Resparta Griliera  
  
MALFOY: Cool. Thanks. (waves wand again) Resparata Griliera.  
  
HERMIONE: (eyes becoming unfocused) Let's go sit together and watch the film now, Drac.  
  
MALFOY: (satisfied.) Cool. (picks her up just as guy enters bathroom)  
  
GUY: Good day, mate.  
  
MALFOY: (nods) Hey.  
  
GUY: Nice lass you got there.  
  
MALFOY: Er---thanks.  
  
**Guy holds door open so Malfoy and Hermione can go through. She is resting her head on his shoulder. He goes through the theater, gets lost twice, but finally gets back into the right room.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
**I know this is short, but there's no reason for them to be long. They're just little scenarios. So you like it? The second scenarios will be posted soon. If you have an idea of what you want to have happened in the bathroom, review or email me.  
  
I got 70 reviews!!!!! WOOOO! That is the most reviews I've ever gotten for a single story! Thank you all SO much!!!! I'm so excited!  
  
Instead of thanking you individually, I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed this story! I really appreciate you taking the time out to do it!!!   



	6. Scenario 2

Muggle Movies  


Bathroom Scenario #2  
  
**Draco is running through the theater with a passed out Hermione in his arms.  
  
**MALFOY: (to concession person) Where's the loo?**  
  
The concession person points to Malfoy's left so he runs that way. The concession person gives Malfoy's retreating back an odd look.   
  
**MALFOY: (muttering) Where is it, where is it? Come on! Where is it!?  
  
**Malfoy stops outside two doors. One has a woman figure on it, the other a man.**  
  
MALFOY: Oh no. Which one?  
  
**He looks back in forth hoping for the answer to pop out at him. It doesn't.**  
  
MALFOY: (insanely muttering) If I go in the woman's, there are apt to be women in there. Then they will kick my butt if I happen to keep my eyes open. And what if it's an old woman? (he cringes) If I go in the men's, Hermione may get an eyeful and pass out again. (he sighs) But, that way I won't have to worry about seeing some old woman in her bloomers. However, if we go into the man's Hermione may see a guy in there that she likes more than me. More than me? Ha! Draco, stay focused here. Okay, woman's or men's? What's a wizard to do?  
  
**A woman wearing a long flowery dress comes out of the woman's bathroom. Malfoy steps back. He is beginning to ache all over from carrying his heavy load.  
  
**WOMAN: Oh my word! That girl has passed out.  
  
MALFOY: (sarcasticly) No! Really!?  
  
WOMAN: (giving Malfoy menicing look) You might want to clean up those manors, young man. People are much more apt to help you if you're nice to them.  
  
MALFOY: (sighing) OK, sor-ry. Can I get through there?  
  
WOMAN: The bathroom is clear, however, I do not think it wise for you to go in there.  
  
MALFOY: Why not?  
  
WOMAN: Because it is a WOMAN's bathroom. You may leave the girl in there, but you must scoot right out.  
  
**Woman walks off, muttering to herself. Malfoy sighs again. He closes his eyes and pushes through the door. He immediately thinks that maybe he should become a woman. The bathroom was so wonderfully clean and beautiful that it would fit a queen quite nicely. Malfoy gently lay Hermoine on the couch in the corner. Then he got a wet paper towel and put it on her forehead.  
  
She doesn't flich at all. So he gets some water in his cupped hands and throws it on her face. She still doesn't move. He begins to poke her in the shoulder. Nothing. Finally, he looses his patience.  
  
**MALFOY: HERMIONE!**  
  
Hermione jerks awake, her eyes popping open in fright.  
**  
HERMIONE: What?  
  
MALFOY: You passed out.  
  
HERMIONE: Oh no! I did!?  
  
MALFOY: (nods) But I saved you and brought you here.  
  
HERMIONE: (quietly) Oh, my hero. (rolls eyes) Thanks, Draco.  
  
MALFOY: (grinning) Sure!  
  
HERMIONE: (sitting up) Oh no! Are we missing Sean?  
  
MALFOY: Who?  
  
HERMIONE: Oliver!  
  
MALFOY: Oh. Wood. (sighs again, brushing hair out of his face) I don't know.  
  
HERMIONE: We must get back! (she starts to get up, then stops) Wait!  
  
MALFOY: What that's the matter?  
  
HERMIONE: Did people see you save me?  
  
MALFOY: Of course! The whole theater saw!  
  
HERMIONE: Oh no. Well, this simply won't do. What if Oliver thinks I'm taken?  
  
MALFOY: (looking at her oddly) What is wrong with you?  
  
HERMIONE: You can't tell anyone that you saved me.  
  
MALFOY: Why not?  
  
HERMIONE: Because.....  
  
MALFOY: What's in it for me?  
  
HERMIONE: Er-----nothing?  
  
MALFOY: If you sit on my lap when we get back in the theater, then okay.  
  
HERMIONE: For 5 minutes only.  
  
MALFOY: 10.  
  
HERMIONE: 4.  
  
MALFOY: 5.  
  
HERMIONE: 3.  
  
MALFOY: 4.  
  
HERMIONE: Okay. 4 minutes only.  
  
MALFOY: But you have to act like you want to sit there.  
  
HERMIONE: Fine. Whatever.  
  
**Malfoy and Hermione walk back into the theater. She sits on his lap, reluctantly.  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
**Review and let me know which scenario you like best so far! There might be another scenario after this if I decide to write it. It'll have Hermione and Draco being lovey-dovey and will be filled with fluff though.   
  
I have 90 reviews!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU so much!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited that I have that many reviews. I hope to get to 100, that would be so cool. So if you want me to write a scenario based on your ideas, let me know. I check the reviews everyday and I plan on writing the next scenario by Wednesday if I do it at all. So review by then and let me know your ideas. Also, if you want me to add a scene from the movie in the regular story, let me know.  
  
I was just thinking about writing a story about the HP book characters meeting the actors who played them. Sort of like a sequal to this. What do you guys think? You can review and let me know your opinion, or email me at gness@draco-malfoy.zzn.com  
  
THANKS!  



	7. The Last Scenario

A/N: All good things must come to an end, I suppose. I'm really sad to see this end, but when The Chamber of Secrets comes out, I'll write another, I promise. It's up to you. You decide which scenario you thought REALLY happened. Or just pick the one you like the most. You can review and tell me or you can just keep it to yourself. That also is up to you. Enjoy!  


Muggle Movies  


The Last Scenario  
  
**Draco is running through the theater with a passed out Hermione in his arms.  
  
**MALFOY: (to himself) What am I supposed to do with a passed out girl in my arms?**  
  
Draco soon gets many odd looks from movie patrons all around. Either for talking to himself or for carrying Hermione, who knows.  
  
**MALFOY: (stops abruptly) What am I thinking? What am I supposed to do with a passed out girl in my arms! HA! I am Draco Malfoy of the Malfoys! I shouldn't ask such a idiotic question! (shakes his head)  
  
HERMOINE: (waking up) Whereamiandwhatreyoudoin?  
  
MALFOY: (looks down at her and grins) You are awake! Fair maiden, I shall taketh you to the loo so you may clean yourself up a bit.  
  
**Many people around them have stopped what they're doing to watch.**  
  
HERMOINE: (getting less groggy) What? Malfoy?  
  
MALFOY: It is Draco, fair maiden. Do not fret, I shall taketh good care of you-----eth.  
  
HERMIONE: (voice quiet) Draco? Are you mad? Put me down.  
  
MALFOY: I cannnot, fair Hermione. You are still very weak. It is impartive that I get you to safety!  
  
HERMIONE: (getting very angry) Draco Malfoy, put me down this instant!  
  
MALFOY: (looking around at people watching them) Shh...I will not harm thee, fair maiden. (leans down and whispers to her) Just pretend you're normal, okay?  
  
HERMIONE: (now seeing everyone around them) Oh. OH! Oh, thank goodness, kind--er--sir! You have rescued me from the----er----dragon?  
  
MALFOY: (smiling around at people watching them.) Yes! I have slain the dragon and won your hand!**  
  
**HERMOINE: My hero!  
  
Malfoy grins around at everyone, as if to prove a point. He sets Hermoine down lightly, on her feet. She wraps her arms around his neck.  
  
HERMIONE: (whispering) What now?  
  
MALFOY: (whispering) Kiss me!  
  
HERMIONE: (pauses, shrugs) Okay.  
**  
Hermoine leans up and kisses Malfoy very quickly on the lips. She is very embarrassed, but also quite keen to kiss him again.  
**  
GUY#1: Aww, come on! That's not a real kiss! He's slain the dragon for your hand! Show some tongue!  
  
WOMAN#1: (looking at guy oddly) What is wrong with you, Henry? These kids are quite mad.  
  
HENRY(guy#1): Don't care, Phylis! They're in love. Kiss her!**  
  
Malfoy shrugs, bends Hermione back and gives her a long kiss.**  
**  
**PHYLIS(woman#1): Honestly! Kids today!  
  
HENRY: Oh, put a sock in it! (bends Phylis back and kisses her)  
  
**Patrons around all cheer.**  
**  
**HERMOINE: (nervously) Draco?  
  
DRACO: Yeah, my love?  
  
HERMIONE: Can we get out of here?  
  
DRACO: (looks around, spots loo doors and takes Hermoine's hand) This way! (pushes loo door open.) I wish I had my trusty steer, my back really hurts from carrying you all about.  
  
HERMIONE: Sorry about that.  
  
DRACO: It's alright. (looks around at people as Hermione goes into bathroom) Fair well, kind sirs and ladies!  
  
**Draco and Hermoine are now in the bathroom with the door closed tightly behind them.  
  
**HERMOINE: (sitting on edge of sink) That was some spetical, _kind sir_.  
  
DRACO: 'Tis nothing, fair maiden.  
  
HERMIONE: (laughing) Why are you talking like that?  
  
DRACO: Just because.  
  
HERMOINE: We're missing the movie.  
  
DRACO: Are you okay to go back? You had quite a problem back there when they cut your sceen.  
  
HERMIONE: It's okay. I'm fine. The Devil's Snare was my second shining moment and even though it was wrong, it was okay too.  
  
DRACO: (nods) Shall we go back then?  
  
HERMOINE: Are they still out there?  
  
DRACO: (peeks outside door.) Yes. Some of them. Phylis and Henry are making out.  
  
HERMOINE: (giggling) Let's go.  
  
**Draco helps Hermione off counter, and they walk outside the bathroom hand in hand. Draco kisses her gently on the lips before they get back to the theatre.  
  
**HERMOINE: Harry and Ron are not going to like that we've kissed. (peering inside darkened theatre and then closing the door)  
  
DRACO: So?  
  
HERMOINE: I think we should pretend we're---  
  
DRACO: Sit on my lap for a couple minutes and then I'll pretend we're enemies again as not to raise suspiscion.  
  
HERMIONE: Alright.  
  
DRACO: But when we get back to the castle....can we....you know....meet somewhere?  
  
HERMOINE: (shrugging) Okay. Sure. Why not. You're a good kisser.  
  
DRACO: (pretending to be embarrassed.) Well, gosh. You're not so bad yourself.  
**  
They kiss once more quickly before entering the theatre.**  
  
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I feel like I need to thank all the reviewers personally because this is the last installment to this story. It is also my most loved story as far as reviews go! 102!!!! I made it to 100! Wow, I never thought I'd get that many reviews. Thanks so much to all of you!**  
  
Thanks to the Reviewers**  
  
Quick thanks to: Cho, EssexGirlAnna, MusicalAngel, sea, TrainMan236, whippy, Antiprep Superstar, person, Britt and aryn synester! Thank you for your reviews!  
  
Miriam - I like the second senario too, actually.   
  
Hp-girl - Lol, I don't know. Why did I come up with it? Thanks for the review!  
  
willow42 - I'd love to write a charcters meeting the actors, so I probably will. Especially since I got 100 reviews! I should write it as a present to you guys. Who is that lady who plays Lily? I'll have to get her name before I can write it. I think Alan Rickman is good looking in real life, although not as Snape, but that's just my opinion. Thanks for the review!  
  
Nicola - I am going to do one for CoS, yes. As soon as it's out, so in about 11 months, lol.   
  
Amara - Thanks, I did get to 100! Yay! Actually, that's one of my favorite phrases too, lol. Your review made my day! Thanks!  
  
Pokey Chan- Yup! As long as people review and like them, I will keep writing stories like this for all the movies.  
  
Xue - Sometimes I call him Draco, sometimes I call him Malfoy. I like Draco better, but in fics that are primarily about Harry, I use Malfoy because that's how he's known to him. Thanks for the review!  
  
Tiger Lily- I love your name. It seems everybody likes the second scenario better, well I do too. Thanks for the review!  
  
badgrrl - Thanks! I'm glad you'll have the character's comments in your head when you see the movie again! happy new year to you too!  
  
Kim- Thank you! I'd love to read that story about Harry finding webpages about himself! lol.  
  
Mask of Dawn - Yup! I'll definitely check out your story when I get a second. Thanks for the review and I will be doing a story like this for the second movie.  
  
Katherine aka Star - Thanks for the suggestion! As you can see, I did use it.  
  
Laughing my head off - Thanks, I really appreciate this fic being called brilliant. I love that word, brilliant.  
  
Gravie - I've only seen it 4, but I have a good memory for things I like. Which explains why I can't remember Geometry, but can remember HP usless facts and trivia.  
  
Xue - I hope you liked this scenario. You said you wanted some romance between them, well here it is! Thanks for your reviews!  
  
Natt- Thanks! I think I have a lot more in common with Hermione, too if she really does love Oliver Wood.  
  
Danielle - Thanks! I'm glad you think that!  
  
badgrrl- I promise I will! Thanks! I'm glad you don't think they're OOC.  
  
Lon Bergeron - lol. Thanks for the review. I'm planning on writing their views of the second movie as well.  
  
Professor Vector and Trista_Setsuna - Thank you! Yes, I completely agree. Sean Biggerstaff is very HOT. That would have been funny, good suggestion! About the girls talking about Draco being hot and then Ron agreeing, but thinking they were talking about Norbert. I should write that in. If you want to write about the characters reading this story, that's fine with me! Go for it! I'd love that! Funny you should say that, Pansy and Hermoine are just like me too, lol. Thank you for your suggestions!  
  
BloodyAngel - LOl, thanks. Your review made me laugh. I thought Malfoy was going to pee his pants in that scene. I'm glad you liked that part of the story! I was actually really sad it was over too. I had so much fun writing it.   
  
6angel6demon6 - That is such a great idea! Do you mind if I actually write it? That would make such a funny story, I think! Thanks!  
  
summersun - Thanks!  
  
jus1digigirl - Thank you! Sorry you didn't like Hermione and Draco getting together. I'm sure you liked scenarios 1 and 2 then!  
  
BluePrint - Thanks! I don't know, can you have too much of that movie? lol.   
  
  
  



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